Oct 08 2008
In Pictorial Praise of the Penis
Choosing one’s coffee table book requires much thought. You want it to be entertaining. You want it to be pleasing to the eye. You want it to say something about you and the things you love.
Finally, I’ve found mine.
I was perusing my local Borders, the sexuality section of course, when I saw it.
It was monstrous.
It was heavy.
It was a big, thick cock.
On the cover of a big thick book. The Big Penis book to be precise.
I opened it up never giving thought to the possibility that people watching me flip through a book littered with pictures of big cocks might raise some eyebrows. I salivated over page after page of wondrous penises. Long, thick, coming in many wonderful colors and attached to a plethora of beautiful men.
This book is a cock lover’s dream.
In addition to the stunning photography there is also lots of interesting research (yes, I read the words too) on the history of the penis, the large one in particular, and its representations in pop culture throughout history.
Words cannot express how much I love this book. I love to flip through the pages and wonder if any of the men I know have dicks this beautiful. I love to thumb through it and wonder where they found these models. I love to come across a particular page and think to myself “Damn, is that thing even real?”
Now, seeing as how I don’t actually own a coffee table, my Big Penis Book rests prominently on my couch.
On Saturday, my grandmother (I’ve written about her, the one who thinks I’m going to hell in a hand basket) dropped in unannounced. She woke me up so I didn’t have time to prepare. I let her in and she plopped onto the couch right next to the 10 inch beauty on the cover.
Suddenly, I was having flashbacks to the time she found my box of dildos under my old bed after I’d moved out.
She glanced toward the general direction of the cock but didn’t say anything. We were both content to pretend it wasn’t there.
Moral: don’t buy this book unless you plan to put your new photographic cock collection proudly on display.
As a side note, I’d like to say that I am not a size queen. Yes, I love a big dick as much as the next gal but I’ve had completely satisfying sex with average sized penises and even those on the smaller side.
Oh and because I’m a black woman, l feel obligated to debunk the myth of the black man’s sexual prowess right now. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my world rocked by more than my fair share of black men (hi Lorenzo) but my toes have curled and my walls have stretched for black and white (hi Matt) men alike, and everyone in between for that matter (really, as long as you’re working with the right equipment, I’m not particular about what color that equipment is, even if it’s purple and made of plastic).
I digress.
Buy this book.
