Image by OhSnapKid.com

YAY! I told you I have very cool friends — in real life even! My friend, Eric, has just released his debut album (that’s Eric in the Puma shirt). He and Dave (the other guy) are the production duo behind Your Dirty Habit.

Take a listen, download it, buy it! I have heard it and it’s great!! I have the Your Dirty Habit Live Summer Mix from last summer and I love to listen to it when I run. You like music - you’ll like Your Dirty Habit. Soon it won’t just be my dirty habit, but yours, too!

You can find some samples to listen to on the KissAtlanta blog and also on Penned Madness. As soon as I heard it, it was like a drug to my aural vein - I’m officially addicted - they are My Dirty Habit (but shhhhh, don’t tell anyone - I don’t want to go to rehab). Oh, and if you’re into running like me, it’s the best music to work out to. It works for everything, except yoga.

Your Dirty Habit - “Your Dirty Habit”
With Remixes by:
Computer Club
Trill Bass
Celerity & Doppler
Brent Voye
Traumamatic

This release is being sold this month exclusively at Beatport.com

Click here for audio samples and to purchase!

For more info hit up 1031 RECORDINGS MYSPACE

Tags: 1031 Recordings, Brent Voyc, Computer Club, debut album, Doppler & Celerity, mp3, music, remix, Traumamatic, Trill Bass, Your Dirty Habit

See You At The Party!

Meet Me In New York City!!

Join us for the launch party and buy a copy of the NYC Sex Blogger 2009 Limited Edition Calendar on Friday, November 14, 2008 from 6:30 pm - 9:30pm at The White Rabbit (http://www.whiterabbitnyc.com).

Meet the bloggers who made it happen, and ask really nicely and you might even get your calendar signed. While admission to our party is FREE and open to the public, there will be a cash bar (with Happy Hour prices till 9PM), raffle tickets and calendars to purchase so please come prepared with some green to show your support and join in the fun.

Twelve of New York City’s most dynamic literary and sex positive women, along with photographer Stacie Joy, and the sex blogging CommUNITY have collaborated to create the New York City SexBlogger 2009 Limited Edition calendar in order to support Sex Work Awareness (http://www.sexwork101.com). Sex Work Awareness is an organization that trains sex workers in media skills and educates the public about issues that affect people who work in the sex industry. 12 of NYC’s finest writers, sex educators, film makers, and ordinary women are determined to see the stigma associated with sex work and workers removed.

Included in the calendar are Audacia Ray, Desiree, Diva, Elizabeth Wood, Jamye Waxman, Luz Alptraum, Mariella Ella, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Riese, Sinclair Sexsmith, Tess Danesi, and Twanna A. Hines. A full biography of each calendar model is available at http://sexbloggercalendar.wordpress.com/about.

The first 100 guests to arrive will receive a FREE gift bag from Babeland! Aside from amazing burlesque performers and organic orgasm-worthy cookies from FreeFoodsNYC, you can purchase your very own copy of the calendar. In addition, to supplement our fundraising efforts we will have a raffle, and we encourage you to buy a raffle tickets. $2 for 1, $5 for 3 and $10 for 10 will give you a chance to win prizes that include an Njoy Eleven, a Liberator Ramp, a Liberator Throe, a Rolling Toy Trunk from ForYourNymphomation, and a Museum Signed Print “Ally Bound” by Lochai. The list grows daily. A complete list will be posted on the calendar blog (http://www.sexbloggercalendar.wordpress.com).

If you are unable to attend the launch party, you can still buy your limited edition copy of the calendar directly through the Sex Blogger Calendar website or here on BestSexBloggers.com (look to the right).

About the NYC Sex Blogger 2009 Limited Edition Calendar:
For the latest news, a complete list of bios of each sex blogger featured in the calendar, our sponsors, and our CommUNITY of friends, please visit the Sex Blog Calendar Website.

Tags: 2009 Calendar, Audacia Ray, burlesque, CommUNITY, Desiree, Diva, Elizabeth Wood, jamye waxman, launch party, limited edition, luz alptraum, mariella ella, NYC Events, NYC sex writers, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Riese, sex blogger calendar, Sex Bloggers, Sinclair Sexsmith, Tess Danesi, twanna a hines

(GRUE, for those who are new to the idea, is an event I created called “Graydancer’s Ropetastic Unconference Extravaganza,” and it is modeled after the Open Spaces & Unconference models of self-organizing events. So far there have been five GRUEs, in Madison (WI), Western Michigan, St. Louis, Minneapolis, and the most recent, in Toronto.)

Graydancer, Dart (of DartsDomain.com) and Sascha demonstrate rope gags.

One of the difficulties of setting up a GRUE - really, the only one - is trying to describe to people exactly what it is. Hell, I’ve had very close friends in the rope community say to me “Oh, we don’t need a GRUE here in [insert well-known rope community], we’ve got so many rope events as it is…I don’t think people want another one.”

And therein lies the problem, because it’s exactly that kind of situation that the GRUE is designed to combat. When we’ve reached a point where it’s “…just another rope event…” where we know we’ll see the same classes and the same faces talking about (for the most part) the same things, that’s when it is necessary to step out of the pattern, to have an event where the participants are also the instructors, where we’re all “ho’s, pro’s, & schmoe’s” to paraphrase Laura Antoniou. To have an event where the classes aren’t the same things we’ve talked about before - they’re the things we’re passionate about right now. Every single GRUE - every single one - has had some veteran, jaded rope top or bottom that comes out of it renewed, inspired, invigorated.

I’ve been struggling with finding ways to tell people about this - not because I want there to be more GRUEs, exactly, but just because I think we’re in a danger of too many events that are too similar, and that leads to either apathy or burnout or both. One of the GRUE participants, however, said it incredibly well, and I’m going to quote him here from the GRUEp in Fetlife:

“I actually logged on to this site [Fetlife], which I knew nothing about, after the Toronto GRUE. What I thought I had been invited to by a beloved friend; in order to expand both of our technical interests, turned into so much more. GRUE is not a how to class. The Participant driven format presented me w/ choices I made away from the practical presentations. Instead I found myself in intimate, experienced (both new and wise), visceral discussions about gender identity, jargon limitations, dialogues on submissive mindsets, and a rather intense exploration of cultural, racial, and tabooist prejudices (in and out of the scene) and the ethos surrounding exploring those fantasizes. (pardon my German guilt, I’ll never be your storm trooper)

At the party, later that evening, I had the opportunity to reacquaint w/ participants on a more social level, and fuck- they were fun. One of my most memorable emotives was saying good night to a member that I hadn’t said a word to throughout the unconference, but had shared some time w/ my friend. Through casual observation and the searing light of her enthusiasm over the Saturday, I left the party only being able to thank her for what little I had enjoyed of her, not meeting her.

GRUE seemed to have that kind of “in way deeper than I signed up for” coupled w/ I wish everything was this rewarding sort of experience. I will attend any others in my area.

Sasha, we all admire you. Good fortune. Gray- I’m enjoying the book and thank you JP-great event, intense times, be well everyone- thank you for participating in my life. I am better for you.”

Graydancer inverts Sascha at KOMA Gallery during Toronto's Nuit Blanche 2008

You can see some images of Sascha & I, both at the GRUE and at Toronto’s Nuit Blanche event with Lord Morpheous and others, at the gallery linked to the image above. Questions about the GRUE? Email Graydancer, or listen to the Ropecast - we took one of the sessions, Graydancer’s Fishbowl, and recorded it, and it will be up in its unedited glory soon.

Remember, when it gets very dark…you are likely to be eaten by a GRUE. So next time, bring rope.

This year my adventures at Folsom was epic. I was not working a booth and thus my personnage was neither tethered nor hindered from wanderings. So wander did I. Upon aforementioned wanderings I saw many amazing things, stuff, humans, etc. I will regale you with photos once I return home to the familiar photo uploading seat of doom which resides in my living room some 2,721 miles from where my butt rests at current. I promise the wait won’t hurt too much, just remember to breathe deeply and strongly and frequently. Place pillows around you in case you pass out, if you hit your noggin on a rogue table edge I can not be to blame. Are you breathing now? Good.

My day started off like any other day, except that I am across the country and sleeping at the loft at Mr. S Leather. The toils of the day before had me suspending Jinx 13 for a photoshoot with Athena Fatale at Mr. S Leather. There’s another Jinx who is a bondage model, and I got to suspend her, go figure! Life is silly that way. She’s not my Jinx, my Jinx was safetly situated in Charlotte NC at the time of the suspension. So yes, my body is still floating from the day of suspension and the following evening of partying til all hours with January Sareph and her man at the Citadel. Nearly drunk with exhaustion I peel myself out of the bed and help out with models. Accounting for models, finding clothing by scouring the workshop and pawing through racks and racks of latex, the heady scent nearly toppling me over on such a lovely morning. Invariably this takes over an hour longer than it should have, and I should have known better after dealing with models for as long as I have. Then Tchukon tells me to find something pretty for myself that I might walk around Folsom in Madam S latex. I happily oblige (though this takes me about 10 extra minutes to do). Once dressed and done with my duties I am off to take in the wondermous sight that is Folsom Street Fair.

I can’t account for all that I saw, for most of it was a blur of naked penis, glitter, and the occasional glittered naked penis doing cartwheels down the side of the street. There were also boobies, but the ratio of boobies to penis is so abysmal as to not even warrant stating. I saw no less than one dozen and one half blow jobs which is the point at which I stopped counting. There were blow jobs on the street, blow jobs in the windows above the street, blow jobs on the roofs above the windows above the street. The smell of leather and sweat were intoxicating and I drank in the fumes like a thirsty traveler along so many miles of desert road.

I saw various and sundry suspensions with ropes coming from tie points, ankles, breasts, wrists; strings coming from medical staples, thighs, arms. I saw people wearing outfits of rope, skirts of ropes, harnesses of rope. Rope died all the colors of the rainbow and worn with as much pride as the multicolored flags which adorned several of the windows.

I saw many things dear readers. I will show you a touch of what I saw when I am soonest able. Until then may my words sate you.

Last night was my first night in town. I am staying with FiveStar for a few days, and then at the top of Stormy Leather for a few nights. Fivestar and I took in a quiet night of sushi and sake, but before that we literally hung out. She, being a rope fan like myself, is learning suspension so I let her tie me up and hang me. I was the first person that she has suspended, other than herself. Then she taught me some self suspension as well, so we got to geek out on that for a while and I was most happy.

Today I got to tie up a grown man I just met and suspend him in front of Lew Rubens, Kink.com’s Bondage Consultant. I didn’t die but I was nervous as all hell. He was very pleased with my rope handling skills and said that he’d like to get me out here more. I take this as a good sign ;) He also taught me about pulleys and how he introduced the bondage ring into the mix as well. I need to get my hands on both of those.

I also got a tour of the Armory here in SF. This is the home of Kink.com, one of my newest favorite places on Earth. This place has everything you could ever want or dream up for a fetish scene! I swear it was like being a kid in a candy shop. I’ve decided that I want a water bondage tank for Christmas :) I mean it! There are rooms and rooms of bondage gear, furniture, fucking machines, padded cells, dungeons, and all manner of sets. They even have free flowing espresso in the break room. See, everything a lady needs!

Tonight I get to hang out with FiveStar and Jiz Lee at Madison Young’s gallery, Femina Potens for a film screening centered around Erotica and Bicycling. I got to view FiveStar’s film last night, they are going to love it! I don’t want to give it all away, but she ties her own self to her bike and masturbates while filming herself, filming herself. Wow! She’s such a creative and awesome person! I love how her documentary style films!

After the screening we are going to a women’s only party at Stormy Leather. I have no idea what to expect, but I do know the girls from Crash Pad Series are going to be there so I am very excited about meeting them!! The last women’s party I went to in SF was nothing short of magic, and I’m certain it will be the same this time around too.

I love the vibe here, everything is so open and free. I just wish it weren’t so damned expensive to move out here. Ah well, I’m happy in the south and that is where I’m going to stay…unless an excellent opportunity arose for me that could afford such a location change. ;) We’ll see what plays out dear readers, we’ll see. But hey isn’t the internet great for spanning the distances? So at least I’ll be able to keep up with all the awesome people I’ve met here whilst on the other side of the country!!

Sunday mia and I have a hair modeling thinger that we’re doing. This means that today we are spending a lovely day getting our hair cut and colored. Neither of us have a clue what they are going to do with us so it’s going to be interesting :D

I never know what to do with my hair so I chop it off and then get lazy and let it grow and do its own thing. I will miss being able to pull my hair in a ponytail if they cut it short, since I hate for my hair to get in my face when I’m working. Have you ever caught your hair in someone’s buckles while you’re trying to tie them up? I know right! Me too!

mia is nervous about her hair! When she walked in the room one of the stylists went nuts and grabbed her and started speaking Spanish. That guy was so excited about her hair, he was just all over the place! I knew they’d like her, she’s got amazing hair! I’ll post pictures (assuming they don’t scalp us!!). Wish us luck.

Walking a runway is going to be weird, I hope I don’t trip and bust my ass! Say goodbye to the mop ;)

Tags: nikki nefarious

This half nekkid pic was taken by Erocrush! I’m thinking about making a model mayhem page for my “modeling” work. What do you think?

Tags: HNT

Now that school is back in session there are thousands of new students going off to college. You know what that means?

Thousands of students with credit cards, high speed internet, and a lot of time on their hands between classes!! Arguably a vast majority of these new students are also in an environment where they are free to experiment sexually for the first time, and not a few of these will scour the internet to find the newest hottest sexual experience.

Not to mention the hundreds of moms and dads suffering empty nest syndrome and are looking to add some spark back into their lives!!

With the growing rise in popularity of the fetish niche(s) it’s no wonder more and more webmasters are introducing fetish into their mainstream adult blogs and websites. In fact it’s a lot easier than you may think. If you have never thought about capitalizing on the fetish market now’s a good time to start!

The trick to doing this is a lot like how you would introduce kinky play in the bedroom. Just as you wouldn’t want to scare off a partner with graphic details of bruises and marks (though that might be the desired outcome), you don’t want to scare off your surfers with crazy images of people tied to the rafters. Not to say that bruises and rafter-hanging won’t come in time, but you simply can’t start off that fast. So what can you do?

What you can do is introduce a little slap and tickle into mix! FetishNation.com has the perfect content to throw in with your every day content. Most of FetishNation’s audience is married couples who come back for more and more. This is because both men and women love their content, it’s not too over the top and it appeals to all. This is also a great start for those who are just now beginning to explore their sexual desires.

Webmasters are already finding how easily this can be combined with their typical mainstream content. Whether your business is in writing adult blogs, running an adult forum or networking site, or maintaining a tgp/mgp; if you rely on webmaster affiliate revenue you you haven’t begun to make money on the fetish market it’s time you start today!

Tags: adult instrustry, affiliate, BDSM, blog, capitalize on fetish, Fetish, how to adult, how to adult blog, how to make money with blogs, how to rev share, make money, profit, profit with blogs, rev share, revcode, revshare, sdult industry news, slap and tickle, webmaster, webmaster affiliate

I’m a pretty happy go lucky kind of gal. I’m outgoing, I’m friendly, I give strangers directions, and I hug my friends.  People would say I’m cheery…and quirky.

But sometimes, I have a dark place I go.  It’s not quite to the depression I faced my first two years of college. No, it’s more of a aimless, lost questioning place.

What qualifies me to be a “Best Sex Blogger?” Goodness knows I don’t have that much sex. Why do people bother reading me; I’m awkward, silly, odd, and always questioning myself.  Why do people ask me for advice; what if I mess up and tell them something wrong? What if I fuck someone up?

Sometimes, I wonder if I’m in the wrong field.  I have a Master’s in Sex.  And no job. Not enough income to pay my rent for the month. I’m flat broke - I can’t even pay my medical bills. A Master’s degree, and I am over qualified for $10/hr jobs, and even though it’s a bloody graduate degree, no one wants to hire me with it for a “real” job with benefits.  I’m trying to piece together little bits; an article here, some sales there, a class on oral sex, possibly some phone sex operating.  I’ve been asked to speak next month to a class on feminism and pornography.  I don’t know how I’m going to make it. Sex is my passion, but is it worth being evicted, and not being able to feed my cats over? Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice, going the direction I did.  Why didn’t I get a degree in English, or Social Work, or hell, Engineering. I mean, even a lock smith has better job opportunities (and better pay) than I do.

My bank account is below $200, with bills sitting on my table. My insurance runs out at the end of the month. No one will hire me because I’m a cripple with a degree in sex.

And what am I doing? I’m writing my blog (and the other blogs I write for), working on an article for $pread, coming up with ideas for my oral sex class, re-reading Whipping Girl, and giving free advice to my friends on their sex lives. Looking into phone sex. Trying to figure out how to get paid to beat people up.

Sex is my passion, and while sometimes I wonder if I’m being an idiot…I realize that I’d rather be poor and do what I love than hate myself everyday for working at the local mall.

What can you do? You do what you can.

-Essin’ Em

Tags: broke, lost, scared, Sex Education, Sexuality, thoughts, wonder

What do you get when you combine black shiny tight clothing, sexy heeled boots, bondage, flexibility, and smoking? Why you get one of my favorite outtakes from Jinx!

Tags: Bondage, bondage fetish, bondage photo, boots, Fetish, fetish blog, potd, Rope Bondage, Shibari, smoking, smoking fetish

Greetings from Black River Falls WI!

Spankfestival is in full swing right now, and when we say swing, we’re yes, talking about swingers, pagans, kinky folk, bikers, and librarians. All gather at the NCN Campground for a decadent weekend of debauchery and other de- words.

Sabrina and Graydancer have been busy (as can be seen from the above picture) teaching classes on Fetish Performance Techniques (where she gave Graydancer the all-new-epithet “Fucktard” as part of the performance) and Full-Contact Dom, where she developed the all-new ultimate fighter defense, Cross-Eyed Goofy Fist. Graydancer also returned to his food-service roots and decorated her with rope and sushi for an exclusive dinner party Thursday night. It was during that time that the important culinary discovery was made that while wasabi is not necessarily the best lubricant, it does, in fact, go well with grapes.

No joke. Really. Dip a green grape in wasabi. It tastes good. Trust me.

Last night was “kinko de mayo” and Sabrina and Graydancer worked with Leon (the Instant Expert), Lqqkout, Sarah Sloane, Ms. C and several other models to create a human pinata installation using 5 suspensions, 3 buckets of candy, 6 pool noodles, and hordes of sadistic sweet-toothed perverts. Today they will co-teach with Lqqkout and Nyxx a 4-hour suspension technique workshop and close out the night with a performance (weather permitting) about the dangers of being a red-headed whore of Babylon in the Bible Belt.

Video, interviews, and pictures of sexy, sexy people from Ms. Mayhem will be coming soon. We now return you to your regularly scheduled pornsurfing.

Tags: sabrina fox

It recently came to my attention that one of our own contributors, The Butterfly Temptress, has just started writing a 10-part series about the ways in which cancer has impacted her life, in particular her personal, intimate, and sex life.   Each time she posts a new installment, I’ll place a link here on BestSexBloggers.com to show our support.  She is brave to write about such a sensitive and personal topic publicly.

It is worth noting, that while this is not the sole purpose of the post, EdenFantasys.com has offered to match any donated funds towards the medical bills pouring into our friend’s mailbox through November 18, 2008.

Here is a small excerpt of the first post:

Before I was what I am now, I used to play the ‘What If…?’ game. As a nurse it was a favorite game to play when you spent your life surrounded by illness and death. In the game, I was always so sure of what my actions would be if…I were paralyzed…I was diagnosed with HIV (a very real possibility for anyone in health care professions)…I was told that I was dying of cancer.

To read the rest, please click on Life.Love.Cancer: A Journal by Butterfly Temptress.

Tags: Butterfly Temptress, Cancer, CommUNITY, EdenFantasys, Fundraisers, Life, Living with Cancer, Love

Here at the Ark life is typically peaceful and quiet, what with three people, three dogs, and three cats running around. Hrm, we need to redub the house since we’ve grown past two of everything. Anyway. So yeah, life here is usually peaceful. Now add two grown folk coughing and hacking all night and suddenly the peace is all gone.

Sadly I, the unemployed, have yet to be infected by this plague while my working “halves” are all sickly and ‘puny’ as my stepdad would say. This has put me in the position of nurse for my poor family. After several days of this I’m just now starting to feel that bit of headache and that touch of tickle at the throat. I’m just hoping that I can hold out long enough to get them healthy.

We had company over last night and J was laid up on the couch all poopy, completely removed from everyone, and m was her typical quiet self but I could tell she wasn’t feeling too hot.I swear I should just put on a nurse costume. I mean I have a couple!!! I even have stethoscope and sphygmometer!! Anyone in need of a hot redhead in a nurse costume to take your blood pressure and heart rate?

Tags: award winning bondage, award winning erotic photography, Bondage, bondage award winner, bondage blog, bondage photo, bondage photos, bondage pics, costumecuties, fetish blog, nawa shibari

x-posted from MsNikkiNefarious.com

“Don’t Tread on Me” is from the Gadsen Flag, the snake bearing a nod to one of Ben Franklin’s earlier works. This particular flag is one of the first flags in our nation, we raised these colors before the Red, White and Blue seen today. It’s a symbol of American Independence and it was used in battle. Also, it’s from South Carolina, like me. Now I usually don’t get all politically and whatnot. I really do try to steer away from these topics. But anyway.

I’m hating this whole Sarah Palin situation. You know what, her daughter is pregnant and unmarried. Big fucking cock sucking deal. Ooooooooh, she can’t possibly be a good VP because she’s got a normal life. Teen pregnancy is on the rise folk, hate the game don’t hate the player.

Oh I’m voting for Obama, and Obama is going to win. But I’m just saying that I hate that this woman is being persecuted for having a teenage daughter. There I said it. Also, just to make my stance clear, Obama is awesome. Even he says to lay off people’s kids, I think he uses the phrase “off limits.” See, I like that.

I think that we should create a new law, maybe even re-raise this old flag. I think our new law should be to outlaw judging people. Unless you are in fact a judge, then you’d rule the judgement over the person prosecuted of judging the judged-person over which the judgemental-person is being judged. I think that would be funny enough to make the whole thing worth it. That’s my opinion. Don’t tread on me.

Tags: general, Life, obama, Politics

x-posted from MsNikkiNefarious.com
Today I am scheduled for an all-day shoot for a new project I’m working on. It’s hush hush and it will either end up being a book eventually or it will be subjugated to the garbage heap in the ether. You see, I’ve never done a book before and so if I ever do I want to make sure it’s something a bit different from what I typically do. Who knows it might work out, we’ll see.

But first I have to get the images right! So here I am gearing up for this. She’ll be here any moment! I’ve only ever worked with this model only once before, and that was for promo shots for her burlesque performances. The theme of these shoots today are completely different, so I’m curious to see how well she will handle it all. I do like working with new models though, it keeps things fresh.

I wish I could give a sneak peak. But I can’t. At least not right now. But I promise that if this stuff ever comes to be a book I will sneak peak the fuck out of it, in hopes that my happy art-lovers out there will buy the book perhaps.

Tags: award winning bondage, award winning erotic photography, Bondage, bondage award winner, bondage blog, bondage photo, bondage photos, bondage pics, costumecuties, fetish blog, nawa shibari

You know that saying about how “when a door closes, a window opens?” I used to sorta think that was the silliest thing I’d ever heard. I used to think that if a door closes it’s for a reason, try harder and go right back up to the door again. I never really thought to look around for a window, just kept my eyes focused straight forward. Of late I’ve been taking my time, keeping things mellow, and I’ve let go of my “focus”…I’m sorta just riding for a while, seeing where things take me.

This is the scariest and hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve always had a back up plan, I’ve always had a well defined path full of goals and milestones. Jeebus I got nothing, and it’s working out amazingly. Ain’t that some shit! I have no clue what tomorrow is going to bring, or the next day, or the day after that, or the day after the day after that, or the….and I think I’m ok with that. Maybe. I’m 98% definitely sure this isn’t going to bite me in the ass in the end, and I’m approximately 87% sure that that is not just wishful thinking.

Like I said though, things have been great and they are looking as if they will continue to be great. For example, the first BDSM group that I joined back in the day was T3WD in SC. I didn’t get a chance to stay with them for long because I moved to NC shortly thereafter, but still it was my first group and that’s always special. Anyways, point is they asked me to come and do a class, so I get the chance to go back and get involved. Yay!! I think that’s rather kickass actually. We’re discussing perhaps a possible combo class of bedroom photography tips, beginner bondage, and bondage-shoot safety tips. Holy Crap! :D

And also Sabrina Fox is going to come and visit and I finally get to tie her up and suspend her! I am ovbiously very pyched about that. I’m also selling prints too, which is also pretty neato. Oh and I have an interview on Tuesday. A real suit and tie affair…well, I wish, I have to wear a blazer and trouser set, no tie. Wish me luck ya’ll! No seriously. If you don’t, I will find you. :)

Ok, love you buh bye!

Tags: Bondage, bondage photos, Classes, education, jobs, Life, stuff, work

HNT of Ms Nikki Nefarious

I woke up this morning and realized that I had been dreaming about editing photos. Hrm. Seems like I needed a break! So I took one. I spent that past four hours with one of my favorite local alt models Kit Katt. She’s effin great.

But before that I put up a FetishCon folder in my crapspace profile to show what a good time everyone had :) But since I’m sweet like this, here are some pics from said profile for your amusement!

Top, left to right: Kumi Monster, Jean Bardot, Kumi and Me
Bottom, left to right: Angela Ryan and Athena Fatale, Sabrina Fox and Me, Engle (This is what I do when I get bored lol)

You know something. I just realized that I took a break from editing photos…by taking more photos…damnit! Now there’s more to edit :)

Happy Tied-Up Tuesday (TUT) everyone!

As I said before, FetishCon was a magically delicious experience. I got to tie up so many lovelies!! Heh, sometimes it’s hard being 3rd Place Bondage Rigger

I think I have a secret fetish for bondage and furniture. I just like to tie up girls to lamps and chairs and disco balls and counters and yeah. You can’t really tell from this photo (mainly bc I’m in the way!!!!!) but the forefront girl is tied from the ottoman to the lamp and the girl in the back is tied to an upside down end table.

This is one of few “vanity” shots that I have. Though Catalina is trying to make me understand that it’s ok to be in the photos too!!

So here’s me next to one of my favorite pieces from the weekend (and by “pieces” I mean those hot girlie things in ropes beside me!!!). And yes, that’s a latex skirt…and yes, those are latex pasties.

So yeah…while at con I was “conned” into putting on this get up lmao!! This is funny because A) I put it on in the first place B) I allowed pictures to be taken and C) the pasties covered my entire bewbies! But hey, I’m trying to come out of my shell right?

So there you go!

Tags: alteredaperture, award winning bondage artist, Bondage, bondage photo, bondage pic

I am very picky about bras. I rarely find one I like. I don’t like bras with thin fabric, because that just makes me nipply. In equal measure, I don’t like bras that are too padded, or even worse, just a pair of big stiff cups. (Worse of all, the situation where there is a space between your breast and the cup). I don’t like bras that are too ruffly, seamy or lumpy so that it can be seen through the material.  I don’t care for bras that jack my boobs up to my chin.  I want to be supported, not harnessed.

I’ve never heard a guy talk about it, but I imagine he’s got to have some opinions on the issue. Let’s say he meets an attractive woman one night and he’s been eyeballing her extremely attractive breasts all night. He can’t wait to get his hands on them and feel them. They go to her place and he lucks out and gets to feel them. He reaches under her shirt and gets his first feel. And….they’re massively padded. Or they’re big stiff cups. Wouldn’t he feel a little disappointed? A little deceived? Even if her actual breasts are quite nice, surely it’s a let down after what he expected, what he was led to believe.

I want a bra that has enough material so I’m not chronically nipply but thin enough so that when someone touches it they can feel my actual breast underneath.  I look and look and sometimes I finally find something that accomplishes this. However, it’s…beige. Or very practical looking. Can’t they make a comfortable, non-nipply, non-overly padded, non-lumpy, non-harnessy, non-cuppy bra and then sex it up a little?  Also, have it cost less than the earth?

Really not too much to ask.

Lolcat from Icanhascheezburger.com

It’s obvious that I’ve recently encountered issues with people who have deemed my writing as immoral. I have no problems admitting to the world that I am working towards a legitimate career as a sex writer and educator at the same time that I am working as a PR and Marketing consultant to some of the best known writers, photographers, models, and site owners. I have no shame in it. I recently shared my writing with my only family member, who was very supportive of my efforts to run my own business, to write articles as well as erotic fiction, and also as a mother. Being someone I respect as an educated woman with a doctorate in education, as well as as a Mom of three successful children, it meant the world to me to hear her say, “I love you, and I think you’re doing a great job, and your child is proof of it!”

Sometimes people aren’t satisified with sharing their disgust personally with the moral offender. It is in these instances that people who live an alternative lifestyle should know about two very important sites. These are cape-wearing defenders of freedom. I’ve spoken recently about the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, but I wanted to write a separate post discussing both the NCSF and the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund.

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom is “a national organization committed to creating a political, legal, and social environment in the United States that advances equal rights of consenting adults who practice forms of alternative sexual expression. NCSF is primarily focused on the rights of consenting adults in the SM-leather-fetish, swing, and polyamory communities, who often face discrimination because of their sexual expression.”

They offer some very practical advice, including how to deal with police officers if they are involved and how to travel with sex toys. In addition, they have a list of Kink-Aware Professionals - “The resource for people who are seeking psychotherapeutic, medical, and legal professionals who are informed about the diversity of consensual, adult sexuality” - who might be able to assist you, should the need arise to defend yourself, your lifestyle, or your family.

The SLFDEF states:

Polyamory, swinging, BDSM and fetishism are among the kinds of practices which may expose people to legal problems. We believe that parents should not lose custody of their children just because of the parents’ lifestyle or variety of sexual expression. We believe that people should not face criminal prosecution for consensual sexual expression among adults. We believe that the government should not interfere with consensual sexual expression among adults. Because we believe these things, we are working to provide:

• Money towards legal and litigation expenses, such as attorney fees and expert witness fees.
• Referrals to attorneys and expert witnesses knowledgeable about alternative sexual expression and willing to take cases dealing with it.
• Public information and education about alternative sexual expression.

Both of these resources are available to our CommUNITY. Hopefully you will never need to call upon them, but they are very responsive and they will come to the rescue when and where they can.

My request to you, specifically, is if you have been lucky enough to avoid legal, career, or custodial issues by living your lives freely, that you consider donating directly to these organizations. I realize that you may have just donated via my raffle, but I’m speaking of the bigger picture.

If you can, when you can, keep these two organizations in mind for your socially conscious checkbooks. I know that Mark and I will both be stronger proponents and advocates for each of these groups as a result of their support and help to our CommUNITY.

The National Coalition For Sexual Freedom Donation Page

Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Educational Fund

Tags: Adult Issues, Adult Sexuality, Alternative Sexual Expression, BDSM, Catalina Loves, catalinaloves.com, Civil Rights, CommUNITY, Consensual Sexual Expression, Consensual Sexual Expression Among Adults, Custody, Custody Battles, Discrimination, donations, Fetishism, Freedom, Good causes, How To Travel With Sex Toys, Kink Aware Professionals, Leather, Legal Defense Funds, Legal problems, Legal Resources, Liberal, Lifestyle, Moral Battles, National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, NCSF, philanthropy, Polyamory, pr and marketing, Quid Pro Quo PR, S/M, Sex Blog, Sex Positive Professionals, Sexual Freedom, Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Educational Fund, Sexuality, Sexually Progressive Professionals, SFLDEF, swinging

I keyed this phrase about a year ago & started using it whenever I spoke or wrote about the people around me with similar interests coming together for similar purposes…

It was officially used for an event I helped organize & taught at called Beyond Leather in 2007.  The first year of this event was wonderful & it epitomized the phrase CommUNITY. Our very own Graydancer was a presenter last year as well. Check out the site & sign up for BL 2008!

I know this is supposed to be blog of my ideas but… I would rather those who see this word & will hopefully use it in their own writing would help me write this entry.  So, please comment below on your ideas on the word and concept  of CommUNITY and the way it is spelled & I will add your comments to the entry daily.

Let’s do this as a CommUNITY….

Spread the word!!!!  Tell all of your friends about this post!

A FetLife CommUNITY -  CommUNITY Builders…

Tags: Add new tag, agree, CommUNITY, friendship, groups, kinky, Life, Lochai, respect, Sex, share

My poor senses have been bombarded by some rather filthy attitudes on certain bondage/fetish social sites (which shall remain nameless but most of you know what I am talking about).  It seems almost daily, my favorite boards and forums degrading into battlegrounds over how kink and BDSM is SUPPOSED to be done. The snark, the judgment passed on others, it would make a newcomer cower in their leather boots. How are we supposed to educate people, both kinky and vanilla, when adults resort to behaving like snarling teenagers in high school?  It is embarrassing for me to even read these boards sometimes. It has even caused me to take pause when I think of inviting people to join the site.

We, the kinkster/fetish/asswhipping community, open the doors for people to express themselves and their experiences. How