I have been invited to be a speaker at a kink event. This is really, really WIN, and seems to be happening more frequently, which is SUPER cool.

This one is in Colorado. It is called Denver Bound. It is a smaller event, and they have an interesting setup. They have a few people come and do a very intensive weekend, 4-5 classes each over the 3 day period.

Last year, it was 4 rope bondage rigger types.

Um….yeah.

You can see where I am going with this.

You see, I’m not a “rope bondage teacher.”

I checked, and yes, it is a rope-bondage intensive. I asked the organizer if he was sure he was asking the right person? He said emphatically yes.

But what the fuck do I know about rope bondage?

Dammit Jim, I’m a submissive, not a rope rigger!

Most of the time, we’re props.

I have certainly demoed in rope bondage classes. But not all that often, because the desire to see fat girls tied up isn’t high.

Unless the class is about tying up fat girls.

As I thought about what I might have to say about rope from my perspective… that being the bottom side.

I remembered that my first glimmer of a desire to, and a possible capacity for teaching in the Kink community was when I was bottoming during a rope demo. There I was, one leg tied behind me, semi-suspended in a rope harness, in a rumpled dishabille from all of the hemp rope. I was grooving — blissed out and high on hemp in a way that doesn’t take any smoking and sure enough has nothing to do with THC.

Someone asked my Trainer, who was teaching, if it was OK to ask me a question. He said yes, it was OK.

So there I was with about the ball of one foot on the floor, arms behind my back, half lost in the haze and smoky head-trip of rope bondage, talking about what that was like.

It would sound impossible to be able to be coherent in one of the least conducive situations imaginable: tied up and turned on and mostly naked in front of a classroom full of attentive witnesses.

This is where a lifetime mad acting skillz is really an amazing tool, yo.

The “me” in bondage became the character I was dissecting. The “me” who remains present was able to do a character breakdown, and “interview” the sub-spacey Mollena.

I talked about how much the process of losing control incrementally can be very arousing and also scary. About how I had, even in the year since I’d been in Service to this particular Dominant, developed quite an affinity for rope bondage and hemp rope in particular. To the point where even the smell of a well-conditioned hank of hemp heats me up…just a little. Just enough.

I talked a lot. Eventually I was gagged, to stem the tide of increasingly breathy babbling.

Shit happens.

So, yeah. What DO bottoms have to say about rope bondage?

As it turns out, quite a bit.

I immediately came up with one topic: “Beautiful Victim: Negotiating, Communicating and Illuminating your Submission.” It would be around self-expression for bottoms, and help for tops and dominants in eliciting those wonderful connections and reactions that so many crave. OK, cool!

I thought also a class that taught about warm-up, processing and cool down, on a physical level, would be great.

I chatted a bit yesterday with a friend who brainstormed with me on another angle: that of a whole “From the Bottom:” series of classes. A discussion of and exploration into why bottoms enjoy rope bondage, what happens emotionally when you are going into, coming out of, and processing afterwards, some of the reasons people love or avoid it, etc.

Come to think of it, this is really an awesome kind of challenge to which I gotta step up :-)

Never underestimate the power of a submissive. NEVER.

Tags: BDSM, Bondage, denver bound, education, from the bottom, rope, submissives

Crossposted from our Blog - http://liljgrrlanddaddy.com - lil*j’s perspective

Saturday morning I woke up after D had been awake awhile. He brought me coffee and after a few sips to wipe the cobwebs away, I slid down and gave him an amazing cock sucking. He filled my mouth with cum, then had me play with myself until I came. Then we were off and running. We hosted the meeting this month so I had some last minute clean to do. I didn’t have much because the boys had done a good deal of it on Friday. But I did have some things to get done.People started arriving at about 1 o’clock. As always, it was a great day of hanging with wonderful people who are kinky rope peeps. We had a blast. The topic was tying the male form, VanDarkHolm style. Kat tied on he bob. So we didn’t have to teach for once. So we got to enjoy ourselves in a relaxing way. Then people broke off and had some snacks. Then there was tying going on. Some women tying on males. We had some newbies, so D taught them some harnesses and we covered some safety stuff. Then the official meeting ended and our “after party” began. There was lots of beatings and tying and all sorts of juicy stuff going on. Our t showed up late as she had to work. One thing I forgot is that D’s brother was there for the meeting and the “after party”. He seemed to be enjoying himself. He was joking right along with everyone and cracking wise. I think he learned some things. Our t was sick with a cold so we promised her we would take it easy on her.

D was in the zone. He suspended a newbie after we went over chest harnesses. Then he inverted Kat’s bob. Then we practiced our routine. D’s bro helped us problem solve and we think we got it figured out now. So I was able to stay up for a long time and we worked on some of the meat of the routine. Then D has been wanting to do an inversion on a bamboo pole with the bottom in the splits. Since I cannot do splits, t was the model because she can. So her first inversion was doing the splits on bamboo. It was hot. D did an incredible job with the rigging so she was able to stay up for quite a long time. That was pretty much enough for the night. It was a long day and D was exhausted by this time. He was crashing from his rigger high.

But we needed to make sure t was taken care of. So after everyone had left, we asked her if she would like an orgasm. She has been on orgasm denial for awhile but with her being sick, we wanted to offer her the choice. She, at first said something like, “well, if your too tired, that’s ok”. D quickly corrected her and repeated the question. She said she would like an orgasm. So D told me to get her clothes off and work on her slave positions. So I did that while he was getting some things. I took her through them one by one and just added a little bit of improvements here and there. Overall, she did quite well. Then we added two new Gorean positions. Then D blindfolded her and started teasing her with a vibe. We got out a dildo (my favorite) and D used that one her while I teased her clit with the vibe. She was ready to cum in no time. She seemed to really enjoy her orgasm. She was pretty much gone after that. But I got out some Tiger Balm and rubbed it on her chest. I then did a sinus release and we played with her energy a bit. D was at her bottom charkas and I was at her top. She was jerking off the floor. Then we sent her off to bed.

We went to bed and D started teasing my pussy with his tongue. He liked my pussy slowly and softly until he climbed on top of me and fucked me slow and deep. We both came together then we were off to dreamland.

Namaste, j

The other day Jenn Martin came over and we were hanging out. The first time I suspended her it was upside down and very involved. This time around we were just chilling in the studio and I decided to do a much easier pin up style suspension on her.

I decided to put this up on CostumeCuties.com because it turned out so cute. But really and truly we were just spending the day talking and laughing and this came of it. I love it when that happens!! Jenn is a model-turned-friend, and that is a rare but awesome thing lol!!

I’m going to the Candy Ball on Nov 15th as a model and a photographer. It’s going to be fun to wear two hats at the same event lol!!

Crossposted from our blog http://liljgrrlanddaddy.com   Nawa*G’s perspective on taking our new Girl to a play party and doing three suspensions that night

As lil*j explained we have my brother with us for a while as he is between work assignments. We love having him here and he even shared some time with us watching us work on a new performance piece. He has some great artistic as well as music suggestions for us. So it is all cool….But our normal flow of play at home is certainly altered as we would never want to offend him by playing in front of him. He is cool with our lifestyle, but well it just would not be right to shove it in his face!

In addition to that, lil*j’s workload has been growing, a good thing but tiring and I am smack dab in the middle of getting a fetish video business up and running. I am working on web pages, editing some of the shoots we have already done and the ongoing search for models has been relentless. But progress is being made! We are also trying to put together a new performance piece. So we have been busy as hell!

So we sneak in time here and time there. Saturday we decided to go to a play party. It was very close to Tee so we invited her to attend with us, her first public appearance being owned and protected by us! She was nervous about doing everything “right” but we did our best to relax her. She is a delight to have accompany us! We picked her up and she went with us to shop for work clothes for lil*j. she was given the task to help j any way, carrying clothes, getting different sizes etc. She did a fantastic job. We were then off to dinner with our friends Mistress Eve and her boy. It is always a joy to spend time with them!

We got to the party. There was a group meeting first. Tee was given the task of studying a series of positions she was going to learn that night. So she knelt at our feet and studied while touching my leg. I had one hand in her hair, the other on my little girls back. On of the more pleasant meetings I have ever attended! After the meeting we set up out rig and of course j got naked and rope went on her and we practiced once again the performance technical stuff. It went really well! I can get the harness on in less than 6 minutes and that is down from about 12. She is rolling through the ropes like a champ. She looks so beautiful doing it!

We then went downstairs for some reason…Ahhh Master Sar had asked me to help him tie his first girl. So as I helped him with that, a few others came down including lil*j and Tee. They were working on positions and committing them to memory. Till I began Tee’s scene for the night. She was on her knees and I was pulling on her nipples while she knelt, hands behind her head. lil*j was right in there using her as well. The floggers came out as did a lexon cane. Sar uses a big knife on her as I used Vampire gloves. Tee was trembling with fear and anticipation…especially when the piercing stuff came out.

Be careful what you ask for as it may come true. tee wanted her nipples pierced and I decided to have Sar do it right here in front of everyone. While it was being set up I put my leg between hers and made her hump my foot and shin. Somewhat humiliating in front of people for sure. But she was deep into subspace as lil*j held her hand and one arm and I went to her back and held her head. She was protected by us but knew she was going to get her wish…and during a scene! Sar clamped the nipples and did the deed. tee actually yelped more when the clamps went on than when the needle pierced her. When we told her she was done she was shocked! Sar had some clean up work to do, put the jewlery in and they looked really nice. Tee had a huge smile on her face telling us she enjoyed the experience and later told us that she looks at them and reminded her that she is now owned…two nipples, two piercings and two owners. What a nice sentiment!

After tee recovered I put lil*j on the cross and gave her a long, hard and much needed flogging. Her moans and groans were pronounced and were met with approval by those in the room! After about 25 minutes I brought her to the floor. I invited tee into our space to share in the after care and lil*j was treated to four wonderful hands touching her as she floated out then back from a wonderful subspace. When she recovered another friend asked me to suspend his girlfriend. she had a shoulder issue so, at lil*j’s suggestion, I inverted her with some help of others so not to hurt the shoulder. It was great.

After that I sat on the couch with one foot in lil*j’s hands and the other in Tees. J was teaching her how to give a good foot massage, training her in the joys of being a pleasure giving slave. Rejuvenated a bit after that, we ended the evening giving tee her first ever suspension. We did it sideways and she was gone from the moment the ropes went on her. She was floating and turning as I put a gag in her mouth and pulled her head back and tied it off to her boot. We let her float and moan till she looked like she needed to come down. I think she could have been able to cum just being in the ropes. We w ill work on that, getting over the anxiety of cumming in public. But she too is a true rope slut just like lil*j. So as we seek a Dom for her in the future, they will have to be a Daddy type, a proficient rope rigger, and has a bit if sadism. We know there is one out there as I am one as well!

It was very late, later than I had realized. But as lil*j and I looked bown we saw this look of total contentment from our new girl. She had new nipple piercing and wonderful rope marks on her wrists. She looked up at us rom her kneeling position, resting her arms and head on my thigh wit ha huge smile and a look of total contentment. Nice to see that. We eventually packed up and took her back to her place, got her safely there, reminded her how to care for her new nipple rings. If you wish to read tee’s account of the evening…CLICK HERE. We got back really late and collapsed into bed…literally *S It was a wonderful night. lil*j got her rope time and a very nice beating and we do enjoy sharing the training of tee. j even bought some training books to help her along. So life is good!

Peace, G

I understand the needs of marketers. The fact is, if you want to sell a website to horny voyeurs and fans of exhibitionism, the name “Public Disgrace” is a lot better than “Practical Rope.”

But when I go to the site and see pictures like the above one, I want to cheer. Princess Donna is the rigger for the site (as well as the devious mind that comes up with the public acts of disgrace the women go through) and she is providing a great service to the rope community.

See, many of  questions I get from everyday ropesluts (and yes, I mean tops and bottoms) are how to integrate the rope techniques into everyday stuff. Not everyone has a bondage frame in their bedroom, or a cross, or even a spanking bench. But other items of furniture - like the one above, a pool table - can be integrated with simple rope techniques. What, a few one-column ties and a two column tie put her in the position above? Easy stuff from any rope 101 class or book.

Practical rope. How to tie someone so that they can be gang-banged on a sawhorse, for example. OK, maybe that’s not exactly your kink that you had in mind, and maybe your elbows can’t touch in back the way that Lorelei Lee can. For that matter, not everyone has the fantasy of drowning in cocks that she seems to be fulfilling…though come to think of it, I know quite a few women who do.

I’m not saying that the site is going to be any kind of rope instruction - it’s not. It’s about sex, and exhibitionism, and public humiliation taken to the extreme (and I’ll have a lot to say about that later, since Sascha and I did some of it ourselves. That word on her chest? It means “cunt” in Russian, and it’s only one of many that were written on her body).

But Princess Donna is someone I would love to have a beer with and just talk about ways to take the classic rope skills and adapt them to everyday environments - or unusual ones, like this one with Sabrina Fox (yes, this site is Wired Pussy, which she also rigs for. She’s also a model. The woman must never sleep). That kind of inventiveness and adaptability is what I really think goes into a great rope top.

It’s a practical skill. I love the new sites that are coming up, everything from expanded shoots from the Twisted Factory to Boss Bondage to the Sergeant Major, but when do we kinksters get our own HGTV site? “This Old Dungeon,” “Trading Masters,” “Project Spankway,” or just a daily talk show with several submissive women talking about recent intense scenes they’ve been in or heard of called “The Whew.”

Or just “Practical Rope with Princess Donna.” I’m tellin’ ya, if this smut thing doesn’t work out, they’ve got a winner there…

Catalina’s Favorite Sex Blog Posts Of The Week!

CatalinaLoves.com:

Catalina hates Myspace.com
Catalina loves 10 Sexy Things About Men

CatalinaSays.com:

The Good Things List Lives On
Amazing Friends

BestSexBloggers.com:

Sunday Evening Fuck
Crawling In The Dark

MarkyDSade.com:

Princess Donna and Kink.com Launch New Bondage and Public Sex Site: Public Disgrace
Madison Young Gets Tied Up, Caned, and Forced to Cum on Hogtied.com

Backdoor Bondage Blog:

Sgt. Major Puts Fetish Model Charlotte Brooke Through Outdoor Bondage on Sarge’s BDSM Clip Store
Reflections on The Bondage Past - Jade Marxxx and John Blakemore (H.O.M.)

Nawalochai.com:

Shots from Folsom
Folsom Coverage on BehindKink.com

Into The Attic Blog:

Elizabeth
The Zayda J. Hubbub

Thursday’s Child:

Knee Sock Fetish HNT

Over The Top Kinky:

Romanian Hottie Lea Lexis Gets Fucked In The Ass In Public

Bad Bad Girl:

Like Lovers Do

Confessions From My Open Marriage:

There’s a First Time For Everything (Confession #146)

Mz Berlin’s Blog:

Mz Berlin Does Lesbian Love Right in Friends and Lovers with Madison Young

Satine Phoenix’s Blog:

Satine Phoenix is Good Enough To Eat In This Cannibal Fetish Scene from Muki’s Kitchen

Ms. Nikki Nefarious:

Like My Ropes? Buy Them!

TruFetish.com:

Mark Me Yours…

Ellie Lumpesse: Pretentious Pervert:

What’s Wrong With Sex Work?

The Urban Gypsy:

Cleavage of the Day Updated for HNT

Sweltering Celt:

HNT - Getting A Little Leggy

Debauched Domestic Diva:

HNT: aka Cleavage of the Week

Happiness is a Dominant Woman:

Thoughts of Dominant Wives and Submissive Husbands

::psst… for more hot sex blog links go to Sugasm.com::

Tags: 10 sexy things about men, Backdoor bondage, Bad Bad Girl, BDSM, BehindKink, Best Sex Bloggers, Bondage, bondage clips, Bondage Rope, caning, Cannibal Fetish, Catalina hates Myspace, Catalina Loves, Catalina Says, charlotte brooke, cleavage, Clips4sale, Confession, Confessions From My Open Marriage, D/s, debauched domestic diva, Dominant Wives, Ellie Lumpesse, Fetish, fetish model, folsom street fair, forced orgasm, friends, Happiness Is A Dominant Woman, HNT, HNT Cleavage, HNT Legs, HNT Nude, HOM, Images from Folsom, Into the Attic, jade marxxx, john blakemore, kink dot com, Kink Review Blog, Kinkiest posts, kinky, Kinky Posts of the Week, Knee Sock Fetish, Lea Lexis, Lesbian, Link Roundup, madison young, Marky D. Sade, Ms. Nikki Nefarious, Mz Berlin, Mz. Berlin’s Blog, Nawalochai, Open Marriage, outdoor bondage, Over The Top Kinky, pretentious pervert, princess donna, public disgrace, Public Sex, Satine Phoenix, satine phoenix blog, Sex, Sex Blog, sex work, Sgt. Major, Submissive Husbands, Sweltering Celt, The Good Things List, the history of bondage, thursday’s child, Top Sex Blogs, Trufetish, Urban Gypsy, weeks best, Zayda J. Hubbub

(GRUE, for those who are new to the idea, is an event I created called “Graydancer’s Ropetastic Unconference Extravaganza,” and it is modeled after the Open Spaces & Unconference models of self-organizing events. So far there have been five GRUEs, in Madison (WI), Western Michigan, St. Louis, Minneapolis, and the most recent, in Toronto.)

One of the difficulties of setting up a GRUE - really, the only one - is trying to describe to people exactly what it is. Hell, I’ve had very close friends in the rope community say to me “Oh, we don’t need a GRUE here in [insert well-known rope community], we’ve got so many rope events as it is…I don’t think people want another one.”

And therein lies the problem, because it’s exactly that kind of situation that the GRUE is designed to combat. When we’ve reached a point where it’s “…just another rope event…” where we know we’ll see the same classes and the same faces talking about (for the most part) the same things, that’s when it is necessary to step out of the pattern, to have an event where the participants are also the instructors, where we’re all “ho’s, pro’s, & schmoe’s” to paraphrase Laura Antoniou. To have an event where the classes aren’t the same things we’ve talked about before - they’re the things we’re passionate about right now. Every single GRUE - every single one - has had some veteran, jaded rope top or bottom that comes out of it renewed, inspired, invigorated.

I’ve been struggling with finding ways to tell people about this - not because I want there to be more GRUEs, exactly, but just because I think we’re in a danger of too many events that are too similar, and that leads to either apathy or burnout or both. One of the GRUE participants, however, said it incredibly well, and I’m going to quote him here from the GRUEp in Fetlife:

“I actually logged on to this site [Fetlife], which I knew nothing about, after the Toronto GRUE. What I thought I had been invited to by a beloved friend; in order to expand both of our technical interests, turned into so much more. GRUE is not a how to class. The Participant driven format presented me w/ choices I made away from the practical presentations. Instead I found myself in intimate, experienced (both new and wise), visceral discussions about gender identity, jargon limitations, dialogues on submissive mindsets, and a rather intense exploration of cultural, racial, and tabooist prejudices (in and out of the scene) and the ethos surrounding exploring those fantasizes. (pardon my German guilt, I’ll never be your storm trooper)

At the party, later that evening, I had the opportunity to reacquaint w/ participants on a more social level, and fuck- they were fun. One of my most memorable emotives was saying good night to a member that I hadn’t said a word to throughout the unconference, but had shared some time w/ my friend. Through casual observation and the searing light of her enthusiasm over the Saturday, I left the party only being able to thank her for what little I had enjoyed of her, not meeting her.

GRUE seemed to have that kind of “in way deeper than I signed up for” coupled w/ I wish everything was this rewarding sort of experience. I will attend any others in my area.

Sasha, we all admire you. Good fortune. Gray- I’m enjoying the book and thank you JP-great event, intense times, be well everyone- thank you for participating in my life. I am better for you.”

You can see some images of Sascha & I, both at the GRUE and at Toronto’s Nuit Blanche event with Lord Morpheous and others, at the gallery linked to the image above. Questions about the GRUE? Email Graydancer, or listen to the Ropecast - we took one of the sessions, Graydancer’s Fishbowl, and recorded it, and it will be up in its unedited glory soon.

Remember, when it gets very dark…you are likely to be eaten by a GRUE. So next time, bring rope.

Athena Fatale is one of the nicest, sweetest, most sadistic and beautiful women I have met yet. Essentially she’s made of awesomeness soup. I met Jinx1313 at Mr S Leather when she was there for a photo shoot with Cortes Photo, she was going to shoot with Athena as well.

Once Athena arrived at the loft we all got to hang out for a bit and then she asked if I would suspend Jinx1313 for a photo. I could have hugged her right then!! Well of course I will suspend Jinx1313! And better yet I’ll do it in the bathroom.

The bathroom in the loft is about as big as my bedroom at home, with marble walls, marble garden tub, bidet, and more shower heads and nozzles coming out of the walls than House of Pain’s got rhymes. The best part of it all was the suspension point above the tub.

So there I am with two ridiculously hot women in a bathroom, one in sexy latex, one clad only in heels. What to do, what to do. You know, sometimes my life is just hard ;) Luke Degre let me borrow some of his hemp ropes and I went to town! The pic above is one of my favorites from the set.

But it gets much better. After a bit of posing and playing with Jinx1313, Athena gets a shower nozzle and turns the set into a water bondage shoot. Me? Oh yeah, I’m happy as hell at this point! Well I’m going to stop talking about it, after all a pic is worth a thousand words right? Well these are worth a million!

Hello Rope Lovers,

The team has been working very hard & registration for ShibariCon 2009 is officially open!

The BEST rope CommUNITY in the world!

ShibariCon 2009
May 22-25, 2009
Chicago, IL USA

4 DAYS OF CLASSES
Whether you are a novice or advanced rigger ShibariCon has something
for you! We will offer over 80 classes by the best instructors
around including Mark Yu, Mike West, Jimi Tatu, Lee Harrington,
DogTrainer1974, Lochai of hogtied.com, Mark of DV8 House, Sir
C, Dov and too many more to list. Check http://www.shibaricon.com
for updates in the coming months.

3 NIGHTS OF PLAY
Practice your newly learned rope skills in our fully-equipped play
space until 3:00am for 3 consecutive nights!

SHOP!
ShibariCon will have a great selection of vendors selling all sorts
of kinky goodies including rope, toys, corsets, shoes and much, much more!

15% DISCOUNT IF YOU REGISTER NOW!
ShibariCon is offering a 15% discount off of our early registration
price of $155 through the end of October! That means you can
register now for only $132.00! Registration will be limited so this
is a great time to reserve your place. Register here:
http://www.shibaricon.com/registration/register.php The link should
be up on the site within the week.

Please join us for what will be a wonderful weekend of education, fun
& friendship.

Tags: Bondage, education, Lochai, rope, Shibari, shibaricon

Last night was rather interesting. I did a live rope performance for/with my good friend Madison Young at her gallery Femina Potens. Dave Navarro, for his IFC TV show, came to the the gallery & made it a sound stage for the night as 3 blood related performances were put on for him and filmed for the show. I won’t go into detail because that would spoil the show once it airs next June but let just say that it involved a very sexy readhead, water, earth, rope, suspension, knives and blood, a lot of blood.

So… as soon as I get details of when the show will air, I will pass them along!

Tags: blood, dave navarro, madison young, rope, suspension, tv

I have a friend who is learning the ropes from me - I’m a sort of mentor, and we refer to our relationship as sempai/kohai in the traditional Japanese style. Normally I’m teaching her topping skills, flogging, tying, etc.

However, I have an event coming up that’s going to require me to be doing some more “meat & potatoes” tying, on some world-class bondage models. They can handle things a bit more extreme than most of my play partners, so when I wanted to practice not being nice my Kohai was gracious enough to offer her young, double-jointed switchy masochistic self.

Thing is, I also had to practice something I’ve never done: photography. See, I know and love some of the best photographers out there - I call Lochai and the InstantExpert and Mistress Mayhem family, fer gossakes - so I never even tried to pick up anything better than a point and shoot. I could always find someone else who knew all the ins-and-outs to take good photos if I needed it.

Not so, this time. I needed to learn, if not how to be a great or even good photographer, how not to be a sucky one. So with the loan of a Sony A100 from a friend and some hard-core bondage porn for my inspiration, we set out to see what we could do.

I learned some things:

1. Lighting is key to good shots.
2. There’s a lotta frikkin’ buttons on these cameras.
3. A patient, communicative model is a joy forever.
4. Lighting really helps get good shots.
5. Oh, that button makes it auto-focus? That’s useful to know 2 hours in.
6. My Kohai is smokin‘ hot.
7. She’d probably be even hotter with some good lighting.
8. I’m not the greatest photographer in the world.
9. I’m not the suckiest photographer in the world, either.
10. I need to get some lights if I’m gonna do this again…

Since #9 was really all I was going for, I’m declaring victory, returning the camera, and going off to Toronto for the GRUE. But out of the 5 hours and 192 photos and three rigs (one full suspension, two partial), there are a few that I’ve either liked as is or been able to crop or tweak enough that I want to share. So…click on the pic below to see my Kohai as rigged and shot by me.

And many thanks to AngryBunnyMan, PointyKitty Studios, Leon, Mistress Mayhem, Ralinad, David Lawrence, Steven Speliotis, and especially Lochai for years of inspiring images that helped me see the ropes and flesh in a more beautiful way…

For those of you who know us personally, you know we are very big into rope play. We run a local rope bondage group as well as teach and perform Shibari inspired Rope bondage at events whenever we can. So we thought an Article on rope would be appropriate. Rope is one of the best toys you can have in your bag. There are so many things you can do with rope, and with practice, can be done quickly. Although we prefer the slow sensual type of tying, so much more intimate.

So let us go through some of the advantages of rope and some of the many things you can do with some rope. First off rope travels very well. It is light, packs into a small space, goes through Airport security easily.

So what can you do….Well we all know you can tie your partner to a bed. But what about tying the two of you together then exploring each other. Rope can be tied loose or tight to bind and make someone immobile. You can tie someones legs open for inspection, humiliation or sex. Hogties can immobilize any submissive in a very effective way. Hands tied behind the back allows the top to have unfettered access to the
sub’s body without the slightest interference. You can tie someone to an upright pole and with proper instruction, people can be suspended in rope.

Rope is great for sensation play. Running different ropes, hemp. jute, silk or cotton, across the skin creates goosebumps and wonderful sensations on the body. Take a piece of rope and go around the waist twice and tun through the legs. You can tie and overhand knot at the clit for teasing or tie it around a males cock. If you are using hemp. Run your hands across the rope and it creates vibration, or better yet, put a vibrator in it…The entire length of the rope vibrates, a great way to tease and play.

Ropes can be used to make handcuffs or leg binders. Run the rope through a PVC pipe and you have a wonderful spreader bar! If you take a 30′ piece of rope, double it over a few times, it makes a VERY effective flogger. Using a single length of rope creates an adequate singletail as well.

So next time you have limited space pack some rope. It has as many uses as your imagination can come up with. Have fun and enjoy…

Peace & Namaste,
Nawa*G & lil*j

This year my adventures at Folsom was epic. I was not working a booth and thus my personnage was neither tethered nor hindered from wanderings. So wander did I. Upon aforementioned wanderings I saw many amazing things, stuff, humans, etc. I will regale you with photos once I return home to the familiar photo uploading seat of doom which resides in my living room some 2,721 miles from where my butt rests at current. I promise the wait won’t hurt too much, just remember to breathe deeply and strongly and frequently. Place pillows around you in case you pass out, if you hit your noggin on a rogue table edge I can not be to blame. Are you breathing now? Good.

My day started off like any other day, except that I am across the country and sleeping at the loft at Mr. S Leather. The toils of the day before had me suspending Jinx 13 for a photoshoot with Athena Fatale at Mr. S Leather. There’s another Jinx who is a bondage model, and I got to suspend her, go figure! Life is silly that way. She’s not my Jinx, my Jinx was safetly situated in Charlotte NC at the time of the suspension. So yes, my body is still floating from the day of suspension and the following evening of partying til all hours with January Sareph and her man at the Citadel. Nearly drunk with exhaustion I peel myself out of the bed and help out with models. Accounting for models, finding clothing by scouring the workshop and pawing through racks and racks of latex, the heady scent nearly toppling me over on such a lovely morning. Invariably this takes over an hour longer than it should have, and I should have known better after dealing with models for as long as I have. Then Tchukon tells me to find something pretty for myself that I might walk around Folsom in Madam S latex. I happily oblige (though this takes me about 10 extra minutes to do). Once dressed and done with my duties I am off to take in the wondermous sight that is Folsom Street Fair.

I can’t account for all that I saw, for most of it was a blur of naked penis, glitter, and the occasional glittered naked penis doing cartwheels down the side of the street. There were also boobies, but the ratio of boobies to penis is so abysmal as to not even warrant stating. I saw no less than one dozen and one half blow jobs which is the point at which I stopped counting. There were blow jobs on the street, blow jobs in the windows above the street, blow jobs on the roofs above the windows above the street. The smell of leather and sweat were intoxicating and I drank in the fumes like a thirsty traveler along so many miles of desert road.

I saw various and sundry suspensions with ropes coming from tie points, ankles, breasts, wrists; strings coming from medical staples, thighs, arms. I saw people wearing outfits of rope, skirts of ropes, harnesses of rope. Rope died all the colors of the rainbow and worn with as much pride as the multicolored flags which adorned several of the windows.

I saw many things dear readers. I will show you a touch of what I saw when I am soonest able. Until then may my words sate you.

Suspension in the rope community is kind of like politics - you can talk about it for hours, with wildly disparate opinions from equally competent individuals, and everything from welding techniques to tables calculating the potential force of impact for falling bodies from various heights fill the mailing lists of rope enthusiasts.

What, you think we talk about the hot chicks gettin’ tied up and hung in the air? No, we’re too busy whining about the carabiner that pinched our fingers, or the fact that such-and-so put his shears in his right pocket, not his left, so wait, is he a switch now?

(and while that’s not an exaggeration, at least we don’t have to have a subgroup called “People for the Ethical Treatment of Pronouns.” And you know who you are).

That being said, my friend Matisse recently published a very fun interview with my other friend Lochai (both of whom I hate because they get to hang out a lot with people I see all too infrequently, beginning with themselves). It was presented as a description of someone who pretty much has a one-of-a-kind job, a dream occupation where he gets paid to tie up and sexually amuse some of the most beautiful women in the world. At the time I thought it might be fun to write an article about the other side of the coin, about what it’s like being one of the many everyday riggers who go out to clubs and tie up the rest of the beautiful people in the world for some variety of amusement or other.

I still think that would be an interesting article. But this is not it.

No, this article is for the other half of the equation: the suspendee.

You see, one of the things that your everyday average rigger does, on occasion, is goes to clubs that have some sort of “fetish nights” and puts up people in their first suspension. Or their 732nd, but the point is it’s just the fun of flying, of getting to play in the ropes. It’s like going and playing on the swing, for grownups.

Now, from a rigger’s perspective, it’s pretty intense. It’s a constant evaluation of many factors, starting with environment (often dark, often smoky, often crowded, often loud). There’s the person who wants to be suspended, often a stranger, and you have to evaluate their physicality and state of mind (or inebriation) and come up with the best way to tie the ropes (and, for that matter, which ropes to use? Which hardware?). I suspect that part of the enjoyment that the suspendee gets out of the process is not just the fun of flying, but also the focused attention of the rigger, who, if she/he is any good, is almost total.

I don’t want to give the impression that it’s like a checklist. No, if you’re rigging in clubs, usually you’ve reached a point where it’s more like rock climbing - you do these checks constantly, unconsciously, moving by feel rather than step by step. You learn to feel how a knot is, rather than seeing, and focus on the tension of the person and the frame and the environment all in a sort of fugue state.

It’s awesome.

But it’s also pretty draining, when all is said and done. And that’s why I’m writing this. The image above is of a friend who was in her first suspension, and it was great. She communicated throughout it how she felt, she had fun twisting and writhing (as you can see) and at the end she gave me a big hug and pronounced “I’m HUNGRY!” with a big smile, which I took as a great compliment.

Then there was C. and that’s what this post is about. Without further adieu or Princess-Bridesque introductions, here is Graydancer’s Guide to What Not to Do in Suspension:

1. Don’t hang back, looking like you really want to talk but not actually having the courage to do so. This breaks the primary need of good rope bondage, communication.
2. When you do come up, don’t start the conversation by saying “What’s the story with this, anyway? Why would anyone want to get tied up?” This breaks the secondary need of good rope bondage, courtesy. (Also known as respect, but I’m feeling alliterative alot as it ‘appens).
3. When you ask for a comfortable suspension, as opposed to a painful one, do not act as if the rigger’s suggestion that the underwire bra might be uncomfortable is the same as suggesting you let him double-fist you.
4. When the ropes begin to push the aforementioned underwire bra into shapes that reveal more of your breasts, do not act as if this was a plot of the rigger to try and expose more skin. I guarantee you, either he’s seen more, or she’s got more.
5. When the rigger is focusing on tying the ropes as comfortably on your body as possible, do not spend the time waving at, making gestures at, and shouting to your flabbergasted friends across the bar.
6. When you go up into suspension, it is fine to request that your feet and hands remain free. It’s even fine to twist around in the ropes and play - that’s what it’s for, after all. The rigger will be watching and sometimes touching the ropes or checking your hands (if tied) for tension and circulation. Your friends are not part of that testing process, however.
7. It is NOT fine, however, to comment sarcastically that the suspension would be “easy to escape from.” It will give the top a heart attack at the thought of an eel trying to escape a full suspension (gravity will help you at the most inopportune moment).
8. To then smirk sarcastically and remove the comfortably loose thigh ropes from over your (at your request) untied feet with your (at your request) untied hands and say “Well, THAT wasn’t very hard to get out of!” as you stand up is likely to make the rigger’s hands twitch. There’s a couple of Japanese words going through his/her head at that moment, and if you are into comfortable, escapable suspension, you don’t want to learn them.
9. To then shrug out of the chest and waist bands, leaving them in a traditional WhatTheFuck knot hanging from the carabiner is perhaps less than considerate of the rigger trying to get ready for the next suspendee.
10. To put on your skirt and top and then walk off to join your jeering friends - no thank-you, goodbye, or offer of a shot of Lagavulin neat and some Godiva extra dark -  breaks, again, the primary and secondary requirements of good rope bondage.

See, there’s this thing in kink called “aftercare.” Everybody has different needs for it. Her needs, apparently, involved talking with her friends about it, laughing, drinking more. That’s cool. But tops need aftercare, as well, and while that may be as simple as a polite “thank you, I’m HUNGRY!” it’s usually something. it’s polite, as in any human interaction, to at least ask.

Because I’m here to tell ya, even if the woman had the most amazingly smooth thighs I’ve ever seen (and yes, she did, in fact, I’ve tied a lot of people, and her thighs were quite literally breathtaking) at the end, if that’s how the suspension went…the rigger feels like shit. He/she is likely to get grumpy as they take down their frame and walk out into the night. And you are not likely to get suspended by that rigger again.

On the other hand, K, the model in the picture above? Treat the rigger like she did, and they are likely to text you and ask how you are the next day, and even share some really nice pics of the suspension with you and the entire audience of the Best Sex Bloggers.

However, the Lagavulin and Godiva special dark will suffice, as well.

I’m here to share the secret with you, so pay attention. Rachel Kramer Bussel has known it for years, but it took me this long to figure it out, and I’m going to share it with you.

How do you get the hot bi babes: cupcakes.

Here’s how it works:

1. Write a post putatively about the bondage technique of tying the breasts in “cupcake” fashion, but really a clever link to a site that you have an affiliate relationship with in the hopes of getting people to sign up for it and funnel cash into your burgeoning porn empire (OK, I’ll wait while you pick yourself up off the floor and stop laughing at the phrase “burgeoning porn empire.”).
2. Have the person illustrating said cupcakes, in this case Sabrina Fox, locate your site while vanity googling and have her decide your content is interesting enough to link with you on various social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace.
3. In the space of a few comments back and forth, invite her to an outdoor camping event. Cleverly imply that due to lack of space and time and convenience she should come early, to “rehearse” the performance you’re doing at the camp, and also that you should share a tent, since it gets cold in those Wisconsin campgrounds, and besides, you’re the perfect gentleman. Really.
4. Proceed to spend most of a week with this person, and discover that there’s much more than just the hot sexy redhead to her. In fact, I’ll tell you a secret: the most charming thing she did was when I took her to Barnes & Noble and I literally had to drag her out of the used book section. Do I have to tell you how hot a fetish model bibliophile really is?
5. Co-present several classes, from rough body play to suspension to ropes 101, start a clips4sale store with her boobs on video, do a podcast or two, and be so convincingly competent and fun that when she does an interview with Fleshbot, she actually mentions you by name.
6. Being Fleshbotted is kind of like being Oprah’d: instant fame and fortune and servers crashing, offers from Angelina and Brad to please come teach them rope bondage, leading roles from Tarantino opposite Salma, and an invitation from Keanu to come play tambourine with his band at the House of Blues. Or an invitation to do a sock puppet scene with Lochai’s wife. Whichever comes first.

OK, admittedly, I’m still waiting on most of #6. But having just dropped her off at the airport, where she’s going home before embarking with the Awesomeness of RopeToppitude himself, Lew Rubens, to Munich for bondage at Oktoberfest, I can finally admit: having Sabrina Fox here in my clutches as a guest in my home for the past couple of weeks has been one of the great pleasures of my life.

And it all came about because of the cupcakes. So now you know.

Good luck.

KINK.COM ANNOUNCES RECRUITMENT, DEMOS AT FOLSOM ST. FAIR

Company Hosts Stars, Riggers, Directors At Legendary BDSM Lifestyle Event

SAN FRANCISCO (September 18, 2008) – San Francisco fetish erotica studio Kink.com today announced a recruitment drive and series of demonstrations at its booth at the 25th Annual Folsom Street Fair on Sunday, September 28. Attendees to the Sunday street fair, which celebrates the BDSM lifestyle and sexual diversity for all orientations, will get a chance to see Kink.com directors Van Darkholme, Isis Love, Princess Donna and Lochai, expert rigger Lew Rubens and porn stars LaCherry Spice, Natassia Dream, Wolf Hudson and Nick Moretti. and

New Kink.com director Van Darkholme will be in attendance to promote and recruit for his site BoundGods.com, demonstrating the finer points of bondage and punishment on Wolf Hudson and Nick Moretti.

“This is a really important chance for us to meet up with some new models,” said Darkholme. “The leather community is full of hot, kinky guys who are curious about appearing on camera, but haven’t made that step yet. This gives them a chance to get to know us and for us to make contact with them.”

Lochai, the recently-hired director of Hogtied.com, and Lew Rubens, Kink.com’s Bondage Consultant, will be performing demos at the fair. Both men are among the best-known bondage riggers in the BDSM community, and are sought-after educators.

TS superstars LaCherry Spice and Natassia Dream will be also be in attendance on behalf of transsexual domination site TSSeduction.com, meeting and greeting throughout the day, posing for pictures and recruiting male bottoms and transsexual female tops for the site.

“Natassia and LaCherry really want to meet their fans – that’s really important to them,” said TSSeduction.com director Isis Love. “This gives the fans an opportunity to meet two of the world’s most gorgeous transwomen looking totally fine in latex! We’ll be doing recruitment both for TS tops and male bottoms – we love having new talent at TS Seduction, and this lets us get out there in the community and find the super hot trannies and the guys-next-door who really want to know what the site is all about.”

A prolific performer as well as a director, Isis Love will also be in attendance signing autographs and posing for photos, and she admits she’s likely to do spontaneous demos. “Sure, I’ll probably spank some people,” she said.

WiredPussy.com director and frequent performer Princess Donna will be at the booth promoting her new public sex and bondage site PublicDisgrace.com, which launches October 1 — just a few days after the Fair. In addition to greeting fans, Donna will be performing a demonstration of the kind of public bondage and punishment viewers of her new site can expect.

“Public Disgrace features hardcore, explicit sex, which we won’t be doing at the Folsom booth,” she says. “But we’ll still have plenty of fun.”

Said Kink.com founder and CEO Peter Acworth: “Folsom Street Fair is the #1 holiday of the San Francisco fetish community, so we look forward to it every year. This will be a chance for Kink.com to get out there, meet our fans and let everybody see what we’re like in person.”

The Folsom Street Fair began in the early 1980s as a predominantly gay male street fair held on Folsom Street, which had been the center of San Francisco’s gay leather culture since the 1960s. Now in its 25th year, the Fair attracts approximately 400,000 visitors of all genders and orientations from all over the world. The proceeds of the Fair, over $300,000 in 2006, are donated to qualified local charities. Folsom Street affiliated events are now held in Berlin, Toronto, and New York City.

Folsom Street Fair is held from 11am to 6pm Sunday, September 28 on Folsom Street from 7th to 12th Streets in San Francisco. The final schedule of appearances at the Kink.com booth will be posted on the forum pages at www.Kink.com a few days before the event, and more information about the Fair can be found at FolsomStreetFair.com.

Additionally, tours of kink.com’s San Francisco Armory will be offered the Saturday before the Fair for visiting press. Journalists interested in touring the building should contact the Kink.com Public Relations Manager at thomas@kink.com.

Webmasters interested in promoting Kink.com content can visit the affiliate program at www.KinkyDollars.com or email the affiliate manager at terry@kink.com.

ABOUT KINK.COM: San Francisco erotica studio Kink.com provides authentic fetish entertainment that seeks to demystify alternative sexualities and inspire sexual adventurers. Since the launch of its first site, Hogtied.com, in 1997, Kink.com has developed a network of premium adult sites that now operate from studios in the San Francisco Armory, a decommissioned National Guard facility with sets ranging from stark dungeons to luxurious pieds-à-terre. Kink.com also operates a free documentary site at BehindKink.com and the leading fetish affiliate network, KinkyDollars.com.

Tags: bdsm lifestyle event, Bondage, bondage educators, Bondage Riggers, boundgods.com, folsom street fair, hogtied.com, isis love, Kink.com, kink.com bondage riggers, LaCherry, lew rubens, Lochai, Natassia, nick moretti, Peter Acworth, princess donna, PublicDisgrace.com, punishment, San Francisco, The Armory, Tours of The Armory, transsexual domination, tsseduction.com, van darkholme, WiredPussy.com, wolf hudson

Here I am sitting in my box & clutter filled living room at 1:26 a.m. about to get some sleep before the movers get here @ 9:30 a.m. to move J and I out to SF. Once they leave we pack the fur balls into their crates & head out for a cross country jaunt to start my life as a professional sex-worker / Pro Dominant. The day I got the job I did an interview with a good friend of mine Mist