Oct 03 2008
Getting Off
The Closet by Elaisted.com
Reading Jamye Waxman’s book, “Getting Off: A Woman’s Guide to Masturbation
As an adolescent I remember being curious about masturbation, but I knew well-enough from the nonverbal cues in our home and society that it was not a proper topic of discussion. I sought out books from the bookmobile on my changing body and sexuality and then hid them as though they were pornography, ashamed that I had read them. As a parent, I don’t want to pass along this masturbation-negative message to my children. It’s not something we need to discuss every day at dinner, but I don’t want my girls to feel dirty for reading a book like this that teaches them how to enjoy the ultimate gift - giving yourself pleasure. We teach our children to love themselves, but we discourage them from loving themselves.
Masturbation can be a badge to be worn by boys, who quite frequently discuss jerking off while it is a shield of shame worn by girls who got “caught” with their hands down their pants. If you’re a man reading this, chances are that you don’t really need any tips on masturbating - I bet you got it figured out a long time ago and you’ve probably even compared notes with someone else. It’s more socially acceptable for men to masturbate, or at least talk about masturbating, than women. But if you are a woman like my sister, you need a book to guide you through the motions. It’s not that I doubt that you can find your own clitoris or vagina, but there’s more to masturbating than the physical rubbing of organs and even a seasoned pro like myself can learn a thing or two!
Getting Off: A Woman’s Guide to Masturbation
Jamye Waxman has done a fantastic job of covering all the bases. In one book she manages to teach the history of masturbation, anatomy and how to get comfortable touching yourself, different techniques for getting off (including one of my favorites, mutual masturbation), and thoroughly discusses sex toys and sexual fantasies. Her approach is very straight forward and honest, including the language, which is never obscene despite using a few of the Seven Dirty Words. For me, it was like having a refresher course in sex-ed, but with genuine and honest sex-positive information, useful tips, and advice for finding your own ways of Getting Off.
Thanks to Seal Press for sending me Getting Off to read and review. Seal Press has a fantastic library. Take a look if you are looking for a good book to curl up with as fall comes on quickly. An extra personal thank you to Jayme, who is helping me to raise a well-balanced teenager, who has power over her sexuality rather than seeking power through it.
October 5th, 2008 at 9:12 am
I’ll have to check that out. Even after I became sexually active, I still felt dirty about masturbation, and didn’t really start to enjoy it until I was around 20. I don’t want my daughters to ever feel ashamed like that.