Aug 24 2008
Sex for All
Before I dipped my toes in the pool of swinging, I had this vision that swingers were these hot bodied, beautiful people. I mean, who would want to have sex with Ms. Average and Chubby (aka myself) at some party? They must all be hot to get their clothes off and have sex in public, right? Luckily, my curiosity led me into a sex party despite the body concerns I had.
“Will I be the fattest person there?”
“Is everyone going to be uberhot and make me feel like the ugly duckling?”
“Will anyone want to play with me?”
Luckily, the reality wasn’t quite as I had imagined. Sure there were some hot bodied people there, but I mean truly sexy hot, not model thin. Women with soft, soft curves and round breasts. Women with real bodies. I’d call the guys hot too, but they weren’t well-muscled athletes, no, they were pretty average. At that first party I may have been the chubbiest there, but in subsequent parties I’ve been to I’ve ranged from pretty average to the thinnest girl in a room full of BBWs. (The only time I’ve been described as “thinnest” past puberty. I won the best ass contest at that party.) I’ve seen toned, petite women and I’ve seen women who can only be described as obese. And you know what? This is a beautiful thing. Like real life, a real swing party has people with many varied body types. And there’s something just so sexy and so hot about someone who will walk around naked in front of strangers and indulge their sexual appetites. Imperfect bodies aren’t noticed as you watch the amazing emotions play across the face of a woman having an orgasm. Sure you’re not going to be attracted to everyone, but you will probably find yourself being attracted to someone who you wouldn’t be into with their clothes on. Seriously. Sexiness does not lie in a perfect body. Sexiness is in the mind. To paraphrase Kissinger, confidence is the ultimate aphrodisiac. (And it’s why my Dom is so damn irresistible to women.)
I have a very imperfect body. I’m chubby, I’m out of shape. I have nice tits but you can’t emphasise them so much with your bra off, you know what I mean? But I feel so beautiful when I’m being fucked in front of a roomful of strangers and they watch in awe and lust as I come. Men who I would think are “too hot” for me line up to fuck me. Davey says he loves going to swing parties with me and walking in my wake, watching the reactions of people as I walk by them naked, frequently the first naked person in the room. And truly, I’m not hot. Not in the way that the media tells you a woman should be hot. But I take my sexuality by the horns and give in to the wild ride, and that is far hotter than some airbrushed babe in a magazine.
I find myself looking at people at swing parties, initially thinking stupid, insecure things like, “Oh good I’m not the fattest girl here.” But as the night goes on I see sexiness in pretty much everyone. The atmosphere turns bacchanalian and you find yourself drawn to people you weren’t too into at first. And what a lucky thing you opened your mind, because that totally average guy, the one you wouldn’t look twice at turns out to be so talented with his fingers and he takes you to places you’ve never been before.
Real life is not what the media portrays. Everyone, no matter what they look like, has a right to sexual expression. Sexiness comes from within. Sure it’s nice to see someone who’s in shape, but they’re not always the person radiating the most sexual heat in the room (or the most confidence). I was so relieved to discover that most people aren’t perfect naked, but that doesn’t mean they’re not the hottest thing on two legs. Real life contains real people. And reality is a beautiful thing.
August 24th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
I know what you mean by “real bodies” but I’m curious to know if you’ve further considered that phrase? Is the opposite a “fake” body? Does it belong to a fake person? I’m so glad you feel beautiful in your skin and have found acceptance at these parties. You are lovely and a wonderful person. But isn’t a bit dehumanizing to insist that thin people or “traditionally” beautiful people aren’t real? Do we have to drag other people down to make ourselves feel better?
August 24th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Hmm very good point, Ellie. I think I was thinking in terms of people who are airbrushed or somehow touched up to look “better” than they do in reality. A lot of what we see in magazines or on tv isn’t quite real.
August 24th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
Every time I’ve gone to a get-naked party with Nadia, I’ve been amazed at how in her element she seems. It’s like she comes alive and it’s a beautiful thing to see.
Nice post, Sweetie,
Davey
August 24th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Wonderful post, Nadia. We all have insecurities about our bodies. But really, the most sensual and most erotic component of sex is merely… confidence. And whatever it takes to achieve a level of sexy self-assuredness -be it a pair of high heels, or being watched while you are being fucked- is a process everyone should perfect. xo~Sadie confessionsfrommyopenmarriage.blogspot.com/
September 6th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
I can relate – to that “being in your element” when your naked feeling….it is our most natural state – and to me it really feels (in an appropriate place) like the most comfortable state…
Love the way you write and describe