Jul 02 2009
Grasp. Confession #298
Jul 02 2009
Jul 01 2009
I couple of weeks ago I was at a BDSM event, just hanging out with friends, watching people play and enjoying conversations.
I went to the bar to grab another beer and a woman dressed in latex approached me.
At first I was a bit surprised. It’s rare that someone will just start talking to me out of nowhere. It’s possible that this is because I clearly have the strength of ten men and always look so very intimidating.
The conversation went a little like this:
Her-Someone told me you were an excellent slave.
Me-Really? I’m not sure who would have told you that since I’ve never been owned by anyone, but..ok.
Her- Be a good slave and buy me a drink, maybe later I’ll let you worship my feet.
Me- Well, you know, I’m not submissive to just anyone.
Her- I don’t let just anyone worship me.
Me- You’re kind to offer but I’m afraid I’ll need to pass.
Her- You’re not much of a slave are you?
Me- I’m not a slave at all for someone who doesn’t deserve it.
Instead of sounding coy I sounded harsh. It came out meaner than I meant but I was OK with that. I stood there for a minute, waited for my beer and joined my friends.
I realized that, had she asked me a year ago, I would have bought her that drink, she probably would have ignored me for the rest of the night anyway unless she needed another drink. I wished she had asked differently, maybe I would have made a new friend out of it.
I told my story to another submissive guy at the party and he asked if I could point her out to him. I did and he ran off to go ask if she needed a drink. She gave him her oder and sure enough she ignored him for the rest of the night.
Jul 01 2009

by Matt Miller
Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #34? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #36? Submit it here before Sunday July 5th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.
Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.
Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
On to the reviews…
Editor’s Pick
Insertion with this toy is wonderful. Thrusting is amazing. It’s girthy yet not huge, filling but not uncomfortable and the bumps and bulges really stimulate the inner labia and vaginal entrance.
Vibrators
Dildos
Anal Toys
Toys for Cocks
Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.
BDSM/Fetish
Adult Books/Games
Adult Movies/Porn
Lingerie
Miscellaneous
Jul 01 2009
Cross posted from Diary of a Kinky Librarian
Over the past couple of years, I’ve been forced to confront my own ageism. You can’t date (and swing with) someone 18 years your senior without getting a good long look about your ingrained thoughts on aging and sex. We live in a society where older people, particularly older women, are desexualized. A woman past menopause is seen as fairly asexual. And it’s assumed that older men can’t get it up, but they can sometimes be “dirty old men” leering at attractive young women (which is considered kinda gross but expected – at least men get to retain some sex drive!).
What’s up with that? Our sexuality doesn’t automatically turn off at a certain age. I read a letter to Dear Abby a short while ago from a couple in their 80s who are enjoying a robust sex life, and they wanted to know how to keep their kids and grandkids from dropping by unannounced while they’re having sex. I thought this was fantastic. But when I saw a woman, probably in her mid to late 60s at the party we attended last Saturday, I thought (and said to MasterDoc), “Oh my god that woman’s so old!” MD didn’t take kindly to that comment seeing as he’s about 10-15 years away from that woman’s age. I tried to back track, “But, she looks like someone’s grandmother. I don’t expect someone’s grandmother to be at a swing/bdsm party.” He asked me, “Why not?” And I had to pause. Why not indeed?
While this woman’s wrinkled face gave away her age, she was in good shape and fashionably dressed. But even if she wasn’t, why the hell shouldn’t she experience and express her sexuality? Why was I putting her into this category of someone who shouldn’t be at a swing party? (I don’t go around thinking fat people shouldn’t be at swing parties, for instance. Lucky for me, seeing as I’m overweight.) It unfortunately comes down to my unconsciously buying into the societal idea that older people aren’t/shouldn’t be sexual. And there’s an added layer – we perceive older people being sexual as being “disgusting.” Why is that? Jeez, I hope that when I’m older I still have an active sex life. I don’t plan to dry up and wither away at age 60 or something. What is disgusting about an older person receiving pleasure? (We’re taught that only young bodies are attractive and that older bodies are unattractive.) While my brain still puts forth all these ageist ideas, at least now I’m looking at them, and pondering why I think that way and if I really should think that way.
It’s about time we let seniors be sexual. I’m going to work on my own negative reactions and try to overcome the stigma I’ve learned. I don’t expect it to improve over night, but it’s been gradually wearing away over the past couple of years.
Jul 01 2009
As a longtime fan of njoy toys (sponsors of the 2010 NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar), and a newer fan of Comstock Films (I’ll be reviewing Marie and Jack: A Hardcore Love Story on my blog in the next few weeks), I was thrilled to hear about this endeavor joining the two together. While I would love to be able to take advantage of this fabulous opportunity, I don’t live anywhere near New York, but I thought I’d pass it on in hopes that one of you might be able to jump on it!
“One of the problems in being an erotic filmmaker is that there is almost nothing to emulate. The world is filled with all sort of example of what not to do, but very little in the way of what one might try. As a result, most of the inspiration for my films from outside the world of explicit images. And in the 20 or so years I’ve been making erotic images, one of the most inspiring things I’ve ever come across is the work of Greg DeLong at Njoy Toys.
Whether or not these toys hit your sweet spot is a matter of personal preference (some people like snails, some people like mussels.) But what is inarguable is that Greg’s line of Njoy Toys are made with the same attention to detail, personal pride, and acknowledgement of the customer’s humanity that we simply take for granted in things like bicycle components or bathroom fixtures. From Greg’s choice of materials, to his designs, to his packaging and marketing, the sort of shabbiness and shamefulness that seems utterly taken for granted in the sex industry is utterly absent in Greg’s work. There is neither the vulgarity that is so common, nor the clinical affect that is so often offered in it’s place. Greg takes his customers’ sexual pleasure seriously, and Greg takes himself seriously.
Greg and I have long talked about a collaboration, an adventure in cinema that would serve as a venue for our sexual and creative philosophies, and also be good business for Njoy Toys and Comstock Films; and after letting this roll around for a few years we have the answer. The only thing missing is you!
CASTING CALL
Prospective subjects sought for short documentary-style promotional film featuring NJoy Toys stainless steel pleasure instruments.
Requirements and other information:
1) You should be an Njoy enthusiast. Tell us what Njoy pieces you own, how you learned about Njoy and what in particular you love about your favorite piece.
2) You should be in the New York area. We will be shooting tests on Super16, with final production shot on 35mm. You will need to be available to the production on an on-going basis over the course of 4-8 weeks. (3-4 in-person meetings total.)
3) You need to really think through what it means to be appear on camera nude and using Njoy products. As the saying goes, you can’t unring a bell.
4) This film is a commercial endeavor and there will be (modest) compensation.
To be considered please send e-mail telling us about you and your Njoy adventures, along with photo(s) of you an your Njoy Toys to njoydoc at comstockfilms dot com.
If you have a blog or a newsletter or whatever else and it would be appropriate, we would be very grateful if you repost this!
Thanks for your interest!”
Crossposted from here
Jul 01 2009
When I threw out all of my old and now too big underwear, one of the agreements that I made with my husband was to wear thong underwear more often. He didn’t care what kind of thong underwear it was, whether lacy or skimpy, see thru or plain cotton – as long as the back was a thong. I agreed, and he bought me an entire lingerie drawer full of new underwear, almost all of them thongs, though he did let me keep a few pairs of regular ol’ bikini panties.
I wear a thong almost every day now – I’m getting used to the feeling of wearing them, learning which pairs are comfortable and what kind I prefer. I’ve even gotten used to the feeling of my ass hanging out – I’ve started to understand why my husband thinks it’s sexy. But there are days when I wish I could go back to wearing my old so-called “granny panties”, and it’s not for the reason you’d probably think!
Apparently, there is something a little too sexy about wearing thongs! My husband doesn’t seem to be able to keep his hands off me when he finds that I’m wearing one. Just one peek beneath the hem of my nightgown, and if he sees those exposed globes of flesh, he’s all wandering hands and questing fingers. He’s instantly hard, pressing himself against my back, working the back of my nightgown higher and higher… Then he’s naked, and I’m naked but for my thong, and I’m over his lap while he slaps and caresses my ass… Well, you get the picture.
Normally, I wouldn’t complain – I love my husband and he’s fantastic in bed! But sometimes his attentions get to be a bit…problematic. Like when he’s getting dressed for work, and the sheet slips down revealing a glimpse of my thigh and a little higher. And then he goes in rather late or sporting a very obvious erection through the thin material of his suitpants. Or when we’re biking together, and my shorts ride down to expose that well known “whale tail” – so far we’ve been able to make it back home, but it’s just a matter of time before we end up half-naked on the side of the road under the gazes of a pasture full of horses. Last week, we were so oversexed that we were entirely too sore for any further lovemaking, yet that glimpse of thong was enough and I ended up on my back against the headboard with my ankles near my ears.
Sometimes I think that the Surgeon General should put a warning label on thongs – just like they have on cigarettes and alcohol. Something like, Warning: May Cause Excessive Sexing, Sore Chafed Pussy Lips, Rampant Overfucking, and Overwhelming Orgasms that may cause you to pass out and try to run from the bedroom. Of course, I never have any success running out of the bedroom – as soon as I turn around and he sees my sweet ass pertly displayed in that cute little thong, I don’t even make it to the door before he’s all over me! Is it any wonder that today I’m wearing the cutest little bikini panties?! A girl needs a break from all that fucking sometimes, but don’t worry – I’ll be back to wearing a thong by tomorrow. After all, I’m no fool – I know exactly what wearing a thong will do to him and I slip it over my thighs and tug it in place over my hips knowing that it’s just going to come right off again!
Jun 30 2009

Celebrate Sexual Freedom on Wednesday, July 1st at Happy Ending Lounge.
The Pleasure Salon has been created to build community, allowing sex-positive activists to cross-pollinate. Our gatherings bring together members of the BDSM, swinger, alternative gender, LGBT, sex-activist, sex educator, nudist, sex-magic, polyamory, Pagan, radical faerie, tantra, dark odyssey, sex-blogger, porn, pervert and sex-worker communities, and others whose passion is sex. (Let us know if we missed any one of you!) Through building networks in the sex-positive community, The Pleasure Salon hopes to help create a sex-positive world. It is a place for the open exchange of ideas and sensual expression.
Join us in building New York’s pleasure positive community, and bring your like-minded friends to this social gathering. The Pleasure Salon embraces respect, acceptance, and non-judgmental support in this public space.
Happy Ending Lounge, 302 Broome St, NYC, NY.
6:00-10:00pm
Jun 29 2009
It was a few months ago that while I was having brunch with Sinclair and Kristen we discussed the upcoming 2010 calendar that was still in the planning stages. The one thing Sinclair said he would really like to change this year is for us to keep the printing here in the US instead of sending it overseas. Many of us involved all felt the same way but we also didn’t think we could afford to print it here in the USA.
While trying to coordinate more than a dozen models with twelve photographers for photo shoots, obtaining sponsors and selling days on the calendar we realized our time for being able to print overseas was running out. Last week I started looking into US printers. At that moment I didn’t know the first thing about printing but I had two things to help me. The Internet and twitter.
With the help of others we have been obtaining quotes for printers in the US and although the price is a few dollars higher per calendar we all felt it was worth the extra expense to keep the work in this country in light of how our economy and job market are at this time.
That also means that our original cut off date of June 28th to sell days has been extended. We will now be pre-selling calendars and personalized calendar days until August 1st. You can purchase them by visiting The NYC Sex Blogger Calendar site.
Help support Sex Work Awareness by buying your personalized day today!
Jun 28 2009
I did a really fun bondage and foot fetish scene with a lovely lady named Candle. This is the first foot fetish scene I’ve ever done!!!! The guys running the show were nice enough to snap off some behind the scenes shots so that I can show you guys!
This scene was for eatmyfeet.com. What a great name for a site huh! I liked that I didn’t have to dress up all fetishy for this. I like to play dress up every now and then, but there is something hot about just being in regular clothes and still topping a girl (or guy, either way!). The funny part about the whole thing is that I had actually gotten bored a couple nights before and painted my toenails. I normally never paint my toenails because I never really have time enough to sit still as the polish dries. When I got to the set I was expecting to just do some bondage, but when the producer saw my cute toes he changed it up to include foot fetish instead!! But of course I had to add some bondage in there anyway ;)
Anyway, back to the scene! The girls on set were Candle and Carly. I came in to find Candle forcing Carly to suck on her toes and lick her soles. I got pissed, freed Carly and sent her away, and then I turned the tables on Candle!! I tied her up and made her suck on my toes, lick my heels, and smothered her face with my feet. In the end Carly came back all dressed up and she and I went out to a party, leaving Candle all tied up with no where to go!
Here are some BTS shots for you all!
Jun 27 2009
I was invited recently to take part in a Sex Blogger Q&A at TES Fest next week. Of course Tess got a big kick out of that one because when was the last time I wrote about actually having sex on my blog.
But for me these days sex blogging isn’t about writing about the hot sex. I entered the world of sex blogs almost two years ago as someone who was totally unaware of so much in this world of sex and since that time I have received quite the education.
What I personally think is important about sex blogs and sex bloggers is the information that it provides to people. I know better than anyone that you can’t believe everything you read in a blog but I also know that sex blogs help to spread the word and educate people about sex, relationships and events such as TES Fest 2009.
I wanted to attend TES Fest 2009 as a “newbie.” Someone who normally would not have considered going and then write about my experiences. I wanted to sit in on classes that not only interested me but also ones that I would not have normally considered and then write about them on my personal blog and here on Best Sex Bloggers because I think there are many like myself who are interested or curious about events such as this yet on the fence about actually attending.
I’m sad to say that my attending TES Fest this year for the Sex Blogger Q&A panel is not going to happen. Looking at the schedule it just didn’t work for me the day that the panel was scheduled.
I’ve had contact with some of the people organizing TES Fest this year and also have seen the schedule of classes. It looks to be a really great event with everything they have planned for next weekend. Online registration closes at 11:59pm EST tomorrow and then the price of passes will increase.
If you’re on the fence about attending or just curious (like I was) I recommend trying a one day pass for Friday to check it out. That gives you the option of attending the rest of the weekend if you find yourself enjoying the day and evening there.
If you do attend drop me a line and let me know how your experience was. Here are more of the details:
Open the Curtain and Sneak a Peak at the TES Fest 2009 Special Events
TES Fest 2009 is more than just exceptional classes and a world class play space; from July 2 to July 5. We have over 40 special events to help us celebrate our favorite kinks together! Here is a sampling of what we have in store for you:
The party starts right as the doors open! For everyone who comes on Thursday, Jeff R. and Mistress Trish are jumpstarting your weekend with the Opening Night Mixer down by the pool.
After a full day of classes on Friday, start your night off with a Meet & Greet. There are a number of special interest group Meet & Greets, including the Novice Group, TNG and the Animal Planet. After these, we shall all come together for the General Meet & Greet in the Main Dungeon. Help support the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom by placing a bid at the Celebrity Auction for the chance to play with some of the hottest people in the scene. Spend the night floating at the Late Night Latex Pool Party, where Xris Smack will be dropping the club jams into the wee hours.
TES is nothing if not patriotic, and there is nothing more American than cooking food on open flames for the Fourth of July. Let us celebrate our freedom at the July 4th BDSM BBQ. After filling up, try your luck at the TES Fest Kinky Casino Royale, complete with off-track betting at the Seahorse Race Track.
Just because it’s the last day of TES Fest doesn’t mean that Sunday isn’t packed with even more special events. Whether you want to attend the Kinky Ladies’ Afternoon Tea Party or you want to throw down at the TES Fest Fight Club Night, just remember, the first rule of Fight Club is don’t talk about the Kinky Ladies’ Afternoon Tea Party…err… uh… Fight Club.
Everyone deserves to be pampered, whether you’ve slaved away your day in five-inch stilettos or spent the night punching and whipping some willing bottom. Come to Cloud 9, where throughout the weekend, the angels will give you luxurious massages and the tender love and care you want.
Full Event, 2-Day and Single Day Passes are on sale today, and hotel rooms are still available. Don’t be left out because you waited till the last minute. We sold out last year and expect to do so this year. Register now at www.tesfest.org
Jun 26 2009
Jun 26 2009
Join us this Saturday night as we help celebrate the birthday of one of our NYC Sex Blogger Calendar 2010 models at HyperGender.
WOW Cafe Theater
59-61 E. 4th Street, 4th floor
(btw Bowery & 2nd ave)
New York, NY 10003
F, V to 2nd Avenue, 6 to Astor place
June 27th, 2009
10pm
$10
Reservations strongly encouraged, call 917-591-6185 or email
hypergender@gmail.com
For online tickets go to: www.hypergender.com
Following the dyke march and the mermaid parade what a better way to warm up for the all night debauchery but with help of sexy, naked queers. Emulated by many this indigenous East Village creation is full of idiosyncrasies yet quite engaging and loved by many. Maybe it is the shows unyielding eccentricity that has made HyperGender one of the few long lasting burlesque shows or perhaps it is the creators love for the art form, for the audience and for all things queer that has made it stick around. We don’t know but we hope you come and discover it with us. If you are only visiting New York you don’t want to miss it because in years to come you want to say you were there when it was happening.
Jun 26 2009
I am currently putting together the July CommUNITY Newsletter. If you have something you would like to have included in it please email me at diva [at] bestsexbloggers.com before June 28t.
If you are not on our mailing list for the newsletter you can sign up over on the right side of this blog.
Jun 26 2009
If you haven’t seen one of the above yet you will over the next year. These badges were designed and created by Sinclair, one of our very own calendar pin-ups.
For us to produce this calendar it costs money and I think we all realize how scarce that is these days not just among us who write or read sex blogs but also among all the companies that are somehow associated with sex. Not long ago I started approaching companies asking them to support Sex Work Awareness and be a sponsor on the 2010 calendar.
It was a mixed reaction I received. There were some companies that didn’t even bother to respond to me, some that without asking any questions said no and then there were the wonderful ones that said yes. Sponsors who even in these hard economic times believed in the need for the work Sex Work Awareness is doing and understood how important that they have the funding they need to continue to do that work. To be able to hold more of their Speak Up! media training not just here in New York City but in other parts of the country too.
There are many companies out there who all want our business and who will offer us free products or a small percentage of their sales but there are only a select few who will put out actual money to support something such as Sex Work Awareness. These companies could be spending that money on actual advertising elsewhere but chose to instead give it to us and make the 2010 NYC Sex Blogger Calendar possible.
I hope as bloggers, readers, sex workers, sex worker allies just to name a few, thatwhen you are thinking of making a purchase from any online company and see these badges you will remember that part of what you are spending there is being donated to things such as the NYC Sex Blogger Calendar and Sex Work Awareness.
Without the support of our sponsors none of this would be possible.
Jun 23 2009
Yesterday I had the pleasure of working with the June AVN cover model and Penthouse Pet, Kagney Linn Karter as my willing victim for Secretaries In Bondage, Helpless Heroines, Eat My Feet, Stocking Obsession, and Tickle Hell. I only appeared in the Tickle Hell set and the Secretaries In Bondage set. I love playing the “bad guy” it is so much fun!! For EatMyFeet.com and StockingObsession.com I worked behind the camera as Kagney Linn Karter showed off her cute painted toes, her silky black nylon-clad legs, sucked on her toes, and even licked her own soles. She is one flexible lady!! Now these sets are not up on the site yet, but for following my blog you get the treat of seeing sneak peeks!!
For SecretariesInBondage.com (photo above) I got to play an evil bosslady, which is always fun. I got to dress up and get on screen with Kagney Linn as a petite yet powerful pinup hacker :) I wasn’t in the HelplessHeroines.com set but I did get to tie her up off-screen. I tied her spread out on a black quaker-style bench. Her frame was lovely to tie up in this position, it put her on display quite nicely. But the most fun I had was on the Ticklehell.com set! Again I got to tie her up nude and she is sooo ticklish that I had to stifle my own laughter during the shoot. Me and one of the owners of the company were tickling her, first one at a time, then we both attacked her at once. She was bucking and squirming and moving all over the place. I love tying ticklish people up and tickling them, I always have, but I’ve never encountered someone this ticklish!!
See how happy she is :)
Jun 22 2009

from dockera.com via art or porn
Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #33? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #35? Submit it here before Sunday June 28th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.
Note: Monday the 29th is the editor’s birthday, Pleasurists #35 may be delayed next week.
Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.
Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
On to the reviews…
Editor’s Pick
I love this vibrator for it’s power. Yes, these vibrations carry throughout the entirety of my vaginal canal and even vibrate down into my ass. I can feel the vibrator through the mattress, yea, that good. The Dream Massage G is to my vagina what the Hitachi is to my clitoris.
Vibrators
Dildos
Anal Toys
Toys for Cocks
Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.
BDSM/Fetish
Adult Books/Games
Adult Movies/Porn
Storage
Miscellaneous
Jun 20 2009
I can honestly say I finally have a job that I absolutely love. Today was my first day at my new job. I got to help with the sets, lighting, shooting stills, and best of all I tied up people on and off camera. We did a couple of captured couples set, a ticklish men set, a kidnapped man set. That was a full day’s work right there.
After work the crew and I went out to dinner and had drinks to celebrate. I couldn’t stay too late though because I had to get back to the Garden for a shoot. This company pretty much only does really soft stuff with basic ties, but I am hoping to help them expand a bit and either way I had fun! I figure I would show you some random stills from the day’s shoot. You don’t mind do you ;)
Jun 19 2009
I write a lot about this CommUNITY I am part of and that includes many of the businesses within this CommUNITY that I deal with. Last year leading up to the NYC Sex Blogger’s Calendar release party I was contacted by Pink and White offering to give us 100 thirty day free memberships toThe Crash Pad Series that we could hand out however we liked. My first intention was to hand them all out at the party but we ended up holding half of them back to mail out to all of you who ordered calendars during the month of December. We received an overwhelming response on those one month free memberships of The Crash Pad Series that we mailed out to people.
This year when I was looking for sponsors I contacted Pink and White and asked if they would consider supporting the calendar and Sex Work Awareness by co-sponsoring a month. Without any hesitation they said they would be happy to be part of it this year and sponsor us. I wasn’t sure this year how we would do obtaining sponsors with how the current economy is and all the cutbacks companies are doing both in donations and advertising budgets. But companies such as Pink and White agreed to help us make the 2010 calendar possible by offering their financial support and helping to cover our expenses of producing it.
Last week I came up with a great idea to help sell days and calendars and sent an email off to Pink and White once again asking for something. I thought if everyone loved those free memberships last year then they would love them again this year and once again without hesitation Pink and White came back to me and said YES!
Everyone loves The Crash Pad Series and the work Shine Louise Houston has created is amazing but what I love best about Pink and White is their involvement within the commUNITY they are part of. Not every company would step forward and offer what they have to us and the support they give to Sex Work Awareness as a result.
Now hurry and go buy your days and calendars because the first 50 people who spend $30 on either a calendar or days will receive a certificate for a 30 day membership for The Crash Pad Series.
Thank you to Pink and White for supporting us.
(This offer is retroactive on all orders that meet the $30 requirement)
Jun 19 2009
Read More Confessions From My Open Marriage
Jun 18 2009
When you live with parts of what most consider your private life out in the open, and yes this time I mean sex, you are bound to attract many varied forms of intense attention.
Sometimes that’s the point.
Without that attention its hard to give voice to your causes (in my case Sexual Freedom, Alt Sex Rights, Sex Workers Rights, Marriage Equality)
Without that networking and putting yourself out there its hard to meet like-minded people, exhibit or produce your artwork, or research.
But sometimes, that attention just isnt…and Im a girl who apparently attracts a lot of those sometimes…
Jun 17 2009
Jun 16 2009
Graydancer interviews John Baku, founder of Fetlife, on social media, kink, rope, and the difference between kinksters and the kink community. Also a review of SpankFestival and a preview of the upcoming St. Louis GRUE 2!
Special thanks to Leon of Monkeyfetish for the picture from Spankfestival. See full-size either in your podcast viewer, or here.
Jun 15 2009

from fotodigital.ro via art-or-porn
Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #32? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #34? Submit it here before Sunday June 21st at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.
Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.
Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
On to the reviews…
Editor’s Pick
On the front of the package, a circle of orange spines say, “Try Me.” You feel them; they are glossy, pointy, somewhat pliable. They remind you of body jewelry, Hot Topic, the 90s. But this tactile experience does not prepare you for the sensation of the spines in your pussy.
Editor’s Note: It should be no secret that I love Epiphora’s reviews, and this is a particularly wonderful one. Often reviews of bad toys are better than raving reviews of wonderful toys that we reviewers can’t get enough of and this is one such review. The absolute horror of the toy is at once frightening and intriguing as Epiphora takes you through her attempts of trying to find any redeeming quality in it whatsoever.
Vibrators
Dildos
Anal Toys
Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.
BDSM/Fetish
Adult Books/Games
Adult Movies/Porn
Kegel Exercisers
Miscellaneous
Jun 15 2009
The 26th annual Leather Pride Night Auction will take place on Saturday, June 20th, 2009. This year the festivities will be at Splash, 50 West 17th Street. Splash’s doors will open for LPN at 6:00 PM, and the auction will run from 7 PM until 10:00 PM. Liquor, beer, wine and soft drinks will be provided at a cash bar. A sign language interpreter will be present throughout the evening. This year, as every year, there will be a team of bootblacks to keep your boots and shoes looking sharp. All tips go toward the event’s total for the beneficiaries. We encourage everyone to come early to view the items up for auction, get your boots blacked, and be seen!
Jo Arnone, LPN’s veteran auctioneer, will preside over almost a hundred items being auctioned, including leather and latex fetish clothing, unique toys and equipment, art objects, event passes and tickets, and much more.
Tickets for Leather Pride Night are $15 in advance, and $20 at the door.
Paypal payment is available at the LPN website www.leatherpridenight.org.
Jun 15 2009
Crossposted from Calico’s blog
It’s dry reading material, but in light of an LA porn performer’s recent HIV result (and the resulting panic), I want to do some basic rumor control. I’m simply amazed at the amount of misinformation and hysteria that passes for reporting.
For today’s episode of Rumor vs. Fact, I’ve excerpted from this excellent essay by Ernest Greene.
RUMOR: 16 Hidden HIV Infections! AIM a conspiracy!
FACT: False. Despite much misreporting, it’s one contained case.
… none of Fielding’s cynical machinations sinks to the level of his false assertion, trumpeted by The Times, that AIM has “concealed” an additional 16 HIV infections in the industry since 2004. In fact, eleven of those cases involved male performers in gay porn who are not part of AIM’s client base and who do not test with AIM and four were private citizens not affiliated with porn who sought testing at AIM for personal reasons. As required by law, all HIV infections detected by AIM were reported to Fielding’s department, which is how he comes to know about them, but were not disclosed to AIM’s heterosexual porn industry clients because they did not involve het porn in any way. And yet The Times reported this deliberate and heinous distortion of the truth under the blaring headline: “More Porn HIV Cases Disclosed.” In point of fact, there is no way AIM, Fielding or anyone else can know that the cases involving the gay performers were porn-related, as AIM does not monitor that population.
Relatedly:
RUMOR: The names of the actors need to be released publicly! AIM is not cooperating with authorities by withholding them.
FACT: False. People calling for the names of the infected actors are crazy. Why, to shame them? To ruin their names? I don’t need to know who they are, as long as I’m not working with them. And thanks to AIM, I’m not.
RUMOR: Porn performers are a risk to the public!
FACT: Actually, when it comes to HIV, the public is a risk to porn performers. HIV cases come from outside our pool.
It is still much, much safer to have barrier-free sex with a tested porn performer than with a stranger met in a bar, but porn performers themselves have been known to have barrier-free sex with strangers met in bars. Porn performers do not represent a threat to the health of the citizenry of California as Dr. Fielding would have us believe. It’s the other way around. Outsiders with unknown histories pose a threat to our well-observed community.
This risk is impossible to gauge and impossible to eliminate entirely, short of keeping performers locked up between shoots, an idea that would probably get some traction with Fielding, Kerndt, Fryer, Weinstein and the rest of their gang.
This is what they do in Nevada brothels: lock the women up between tests. Have we mentioned that clients, of course, are neither tested nor quarantined? It denies protection to sex workers that clients are guaranteed. I think it’s inhumane. But I digress.
Also — is it just me, or does an isolated HIV case not only suggest but require that the source was not a performer?
RUMOR: We should just make porn without condoms illegal!
FACT: This is the most complicated bit, but in my opinion, the most interesting. If Greene is right, it can’t be done through law without preventing testing and the privilege of refusal to work with HIV+ performers.
Ernest Greene tells us the trainwreck story of regulation:
… Cal-OSHA’s plan for porn would be the means through which it [condom regulation] would have to be put in place. Cal-OSHA has jurisdiction only over employees. Independent contractors, which is how porn performers not under contract to specific companies, are currently classed under state law, would not be subject to Cal-OSHA supervision unless reclassified as employees.
So what, you might ask, is so bad about that? After all, it would make them eligible for workman’s comp and provide them with a mechanism for reporting unsafe working conditions on the set.
There’s just one little hitch in this plan. It is against the law in California for any employer to require an HIV test, or even to ask about a potential employee’s HIV status, as a condition of employment. Doing so is considered employment discrimination and carries significant penalties to the employer.
In fact, if performers were considered employees rather than contractors, it would be illegal for a producer to hire a performer on the grounds that said performer was, in fact, HIV positive. That’s right. Producers would be required to hire HIV+ performers, and if other performers didn’t like working with them, those performers would be fired while the HIV+ performers would be allowed to remain on the set until partners could be found who would work with them.
Well, fuck. We already have a condom-only, no-testing model in gay porn and it has been much less successful than het porn at preventing HIV. Greene, quoting a gay porn producer, writes: “it’s just assumed that all of our talent is or will be infected and that the use of barriers is a secondary precaution.”
Did you know? I had no idea that condom use in het porn was so rare and so discouraged. I feel … sheltered. Clarisse Thorn writes that my generation may not practice perfect safe sex, but we do believe we should, and I agree. Condom use is one “should” I am willing to live with.
Jun 15 2009
We’ve got the afternoon
You got this room for two
One thing I’ve left to do
Discover me, discovering you
One mile to every inch of your skin, like porcelain
One pair of candy lips and your bubblegum tongue
And if you want love, we’ll make it
Swim in a deep sea of blankets
Take all your big plans and break ‘em
This is bound to be a while
Your body is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder …. I’ll use my hands
Your body Is a wonderland….
~John Mayer
Read More Confessions From My Open Marriage
Jun 13 2009
The NYC Sex Blogger 2010 Calendar would once again would like to offer everyone, businesses, readers and fellow bloggers, the opportunity to join in the fun and excitement, as well as promote yourselves in the 2010 NYC Sex Blogger Calendar – Visions of Sexual Freedom. That means for $30 you can pre-order our calendar along with a day of your choice in the calendar and personalize it.
If you’re a business think about buying one day each month and being remembered all year or if you have special sales to promote, you can even include a promotion code for a specified time period. If you’re a blogger you can have your blog url on your day, or if you’re a reader, any personal message – you can wish us luck or send a greeting to your favorite blogger or celebrate your birthday or anniversary – up to 80 characters will be printed on your day. That $30 includes one pre-ordered calendar (shipping is extra) with all funds in excess of our expenses going directly to Sex Work Awareness. You can purchase as many additional days as you like depending upon availability for $10 each. Although this is a 2010 calendar, we are on an extremely tight schedule and can only sell days through June 28, 2009 in order to give our graphic designer enough time before the finished calendar must be sent to the printer.
By clicking one of the “Buy A Day” buttons you’ll be taken to the Audacia Ray’s Waking Vixen store to make your purchase. Some of you will remember last year that we used a Paypal account at first but after being reviewed by Paypal twice due to the word “sex” in our name we moved the sales to Dacia’s store to avoid the risk of having our account shut down by Paypal. What some of you may not know is that when Paypal shuts an account for what they feel is a violation of their TOS they confiscate all funds in that account.
When you complete your sale you may use the section titled “Shipping Instructions” to list your top three choices for dates on the calendar you want along with your 80 character message. Within 24 hours you will recieve an email confirming your date(s) on the calendar. If you are purchasing more than one day on the calendar please just indicate your choice of dates and we will follow up with you by email for these 80 character messages you would like.
We hope you will consider this a fun and creative way to promote your blog or just as a way to share in the pleasure and excitement this project has been bringing us in our effort to make our community and world a better, more sex-positive place to live.
Jun 12 2009
I’m going to keep this very simple. It is unjust for parental rights to be restricted only because you work in the sex industry. I don’t want to get into the politics of the past – this is all about Mz Berlin. Today, instead of reading my words, please read her blog post, “Help a Mother Who Has To Fight To See Her Child.”
Jun 12 2009
Hey all! I am about to launch my new site EverythingButt.com and want to give away 3 – 6 month memberships! I also started an EverythingButtBlog if you want to follow the behind the scenes antics of Everything Butt!
We love asses. We love you. We love naked pictures. And we love our new logo. We’ve brought all of our loves together in a single contest. Here’s the deal:

1. Take a photo of a friend (or yourself) in a corset with “EB” scripted on the cheek and make it look as much like our ass-tounding new logo as possible.
2. Start a discussion and add the photo of your lovely derriere by June 22nd. Here
Not a member yet? Not a problem! Sign up here for a free kink.com account!
3. Come back on June 23rd for the Everything Butt site launch when we announce the 10 semi-finalists and post a link where you can vote on your favorite!
4. On July 1st the voting stops, and we’ll announce three winners.
A free 6-month membership to Everything Butt will be awarded to each of the three members whose photos receive the most votes.
Don’t miss the incomparably gorgeous Charley Chase talking about Everything Butt over on Behind Kink!
Jun 11 2009
Cross posted from Diary of a Kinky Librarian
As I sit down tonight to write about the fantastic sex I had last night, I think of how some days I get bored writing about sex. Mind you, I don’t get bored having sex. But some days it feels like I say the same thing over and over here, “Blah blah blah, penis in vagina, blah blah blah, moan, writhe, pant, gasp, blah blah blah, not allowed to come for a while, blah blah blah, amazing orgasm.”
Again, I repeat that doing all this isn’t the least bit boring. Oh no. It’s fantastically exciting. But writing about it some days makes me wanna snooze.
So instead of a play-by-play, I’m going to reflect here on some thoughts I had last night and some moments that were particularly hot/intense. We had sex twice, my collar was on, although even when we forget to put my collar on I fall into sub mode when we have sex. MasterDoc is pretty relaxed when my collar is off, but there’s the understanding that even without my collar sometimes there’s times where my added respect is warranted. For example, when he gives me a direct order. Or when we’re getting down and dirty in bed. That’s when I either put in the “Sirs” myself or he reminds me. I know that some people always call their Dom or owner “Master” or “Sir” but I’m very happy to be in a more relaxed relationship. I do, however, have to work harder on making use I use the honorific “Sir” when my collar is on. As much as I love submitting to him, I can have a hard time with remembering “Sir.”
I’m only human, and some days/moments submitting is hard. I don’t feel like doing what he’s asking of me, or I’m cranky, or I’m feeling rebellious. But sometimes, things are just the opposite. Last night I was delighted to submit to him, delighted to wear the collar. Being his sub felt so right. I didn’t want to take the collar off. I felt so happy and thankful that my submissive side has been fulfilled by this relationship with MasterDoc. I’ve never had a D/s relationship before, I’ve only played prior to this, but it feels so good.
And not only does it fulfill a part of me, submitting is also incredibly hot. I kept thinking last night how the fact that whenever he wants a blow job, he can just tell me to do it and he gets one – this is really hot. Vanilla guys have to sometimes persuade their girlfriends to blow them, a Dom merely requests what he wants and get it. And that power is sexy. The fact that he controls my orgasms makes my arousal more intense. I had a blissful period of time last night, when I was on all fours, hugging a pillow and being fucked from behind, where I was in such ecstasy and yet such tension wanting to come. He really pushed me last night, and I bit my thumb, moaned, opened my eyes every now and then (and then they’d roll back into my head). He really kept me on the edge for an extended period of time. And when I came I worked hard to not let my muscles push him out – I did quite well although controlling that results in a strange sort of orgasm. I come, but it’s in fits and spurts.
Earlier, I rode him, my legs weary from exercise but my spirit being willing enough to propel me up and down on his cock.
After I’ve come, I’m speechless. The only speech I manage to regain quickly is the ability to say, “Thank you, Sir.” Then I lay down and bask in the afterglow – and catch my breath. As I cuddled up close to him last night I thought, “Life is good. I’m happy.”